Big Hoobamawatzit
by Sango5
Summary: Really funny fic! R&R PLEASE! Its the game show Big Brother done with Inuyasha char.s! We add new chapters constantly! xP
1. MondayWeek1

Big Hoobamawatzit(a.k.a. Big Hoo) (This is Big Brother done with InuYasha characters. Just so you know ^_~)  
  
Monday  
  
7:30 A.M. The cast(InuYasha, Kagome, Miroku, Sango, Shippou, Kouga, Kikyou, Sesshoumaru, Jaken, and Naraku) are all standing in front of a large house. Sesshoumaru is chatting on his pink fuzzy cellphone, he seems to be having a conversation about make-up to whoever is on the other line. Naraku, standing right by Sesshoumaru, is also talking on his leopard spot cellphone to someone, to anyone with half a brain its obvious they are talking to one another despite the fact that they are two feet away. InuYasha and Kouga are busy bickering about Kagome as usually, while Kagome watches on. Sango is running from person to person trying to escape Miroku and his hand, which seems to magnetized to Sango's butt. Shippou is trying to lecture Jaken on the many ways cigarette smoking can kill you while Jaken ignores him, too busy with his cigarette, Kikyou takes notes on everything Shippou says.  
  
7:45 A.M. A voice from some hidden speaker speaks, "Hello all! Welcome to Big Hoobamawatzit, I'm the Big Hoo!" Everyone freezes and looks around frantically for the source of the sound. The silence is broken by InuYasha, "What the?!" Shippou jumps into Kagome's arms for safety and she cuddles him in a motherly way. Kouga looks around in search of where the voice came from, "Huh? Who said that?" The voice speaks again and everyone shuts up to listen, "I welcome you all to enter the house at this point. A few quick rules though...No one is allowed out, no one is allowed in, everyone must follow anything I say or be punished. Oh and there will be cameras everywhere...Just try to ignore them." He pauses. "Oh! And NO phones! No contact to the outside world!" Naraku and Sesshoumaru's jaws drop and their eyes tear up. "THAT'S NOT FAAAAAAIR!" They both wail at the same time. Two guards quickly go to the whining pair and confiscate their phones. Sesshoumaru and Naraku hug on to each other and sob loudly and dramatically. "Okay, you can all go inside now, you can explore for about five minutes then I will get back to you all. Toodles!" Big Hoo disconnects. Nobody moves. Silence. Kagome glances around. More silence. The silence is broken when Naraku "cuts the cheese". Sesshoumaru and Naraku have fits of giggles and hurry inside. Nobody moves......The ones with most sensitive noses smell Naraku's little gift first and bolt inside while gagging. The others follow quickly.  
  
7:50 A.M. The crew look around the house. Sesshoumaru and Naraku are exploring the kitchen, girly giggling can be heard from the two. The house is clean and scented with lemons. Kouga sniffs and starts gagging, "It stinks of lemons!!" Sango raises an eyebrow, "I think it smells rather nice..." Kouga walks down the hall, exploring further into the house. From down the hall comes the sound of loud crashing, banging and mild cursing as the wolf discovers that all the rooms down the hall are locked. Miroku, Sango, and Shippou go to find out what the yelling is about, they find Kouga pounding his fists on a closed door, "IT WON'T OPEN!" He backs up into the door of room 1a, lowers his head and runs full force into the door of room 1c. The door bursts into splinters, some of which get caught in Kouga's hair. Miroku, Sango, and Shippou stare wide-eyed and shocked. Kouga crawls into the room and inspects every little thing, every once in awhile mumbling a "Hmm...". He sits on the edge of the bed and bounces, "Whee...!" He gets bored quickly and begins to jump on the bed, he jumps a little to high and hits his head on the roof, and collapses on the bed.  
  
8:00 A.M. Big Hoo comes on the speakers again and calls everyone to the living room. Several minutes later everyone, excluding a passed out wolf youkai, join in the large living. Big Hoo begins speaking again, "You'll have daily tasks, shall you decide to not participate...or are unable to participate due to whatever reasons- medical,laziness, or pure stupidity...you will not eat that night or you will be punished, casts' choice. Today's task is..." Big Hoo pauses to allow the suspense in the room to build and several cast members mutter for him to hurry up. Big Hoo continues, "...You have to introduce yourselves to everyone. The rules are- Everyone asks two questions and whoever is asked a question MUST answer." Everyone looks around, blinks a little and giggling is heard from Naraku and Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru stiffles his giggles and looks at InuYasha, "Who do you love?!" Sesshoumaru squeals with laughter and Naraku and him cuddle and await InuYasha's answer.  
  
8:10 A.M.  
  
InuYasha has been staring at the ground, silent, and bright red for several minutes. The whole cast(other than Kouga) is staring and waiting an answer. He stutters and mumbles, "Well....er...uhhh....I...mm...grr....errggh....uuuuhhh...." His eyes light up like Christmas lightbulbs as he comes up with an answer, "I love my Mommy!" He stops quickly and he realizes he said "Mommy" an the whole crew is rolling with laughter. He blushes bright red and murmers a Feh! before walking off down the hall. Kagome is the first one to stop laughing and follows InuYasha. They both discover an unconscious Kouga sprawled half on the floor and half on the bed. They both gaze in wonder, "What happened to him?" they both say in unison. Miroku walks over, still laughing from InuYasha's answer. He manages to hold back the laughs for several moments and says, "He was jumping on the bed." InuYasha and Kagome both nod and laugh, as Kouga mumbles in his sleep, "Eviiiil roof....No...No don't hurt me again!" He rolls off the bed and is in what looks like an impossible position and murmers more pleas to the roof. InuYasha walks to the end of the hall and sits against a door, still pouting. Camera 4a zooms in on InuYasha and he growls and swings a ruthless punch, causing the lens to shatter.  
  
8:29 A.M.  
  
Miroku and Kagome come back to the Living Room and take a seat, Miroku sitting by Sango as usual. Naraku and Sesshoumaru are still giggling and have wasted their last questions on each other, asking for beauty tips. Miroku looks at Sango, "What do you think of me?" She blushes and flusters with her answer, "Well...I...uh....hmm....err...." Her face turns bright pink and Miroku feels kind of bad for making her answer in front of everyone. Sango stares at the ground and bites her lower lip nervously. She looks up, "I...well...uumm...I think you're a perverted monk who can't get none! And I wish you would leave my ass the f**k alone you big-headed, smelly, annoying, useless MOFO!!!!!" She growls and walks angrily out of the room. Miroku and the others sit there, wide-eyed and in disbelief that Sango would have the audacity to do that.  
  
9:30 A.M. Everyone decided after Sango's outburst that they should put off asking anymore questions until later in the evening, after Sango has cooled down, InuYasha has stopped pouting, and Kouga has woken up. Jaken has been forced outside by several grumpy members of the crew complaining about the smoke smell(Kagome), the smoke being deadly(Shippou) or the smoke causing wrinkles at an early age(Sesshoumaru). The wrinkly, ugly toad is wandering around outside, much happier by himself because no one is yelling at him anymore. Back inside the house InuYasha is muttering to himself. Sango is sitting on the couch, arms crossed tightly across her chest. Miroku is kneeled next to her, trying to talk to her. The house is over all pretty quiet, except for the oocasional sound of rolling dice on a monopoly board, Kagome explaining how to play, and cheers or groans when money is gained and lost.  
  
11:30 A.M. Everyone is either lounging in the living room, in the backyard....or unconcious in the bedroom. Sesshoumaru skips in, his huge boa bouncing behind him and yells in a sing-song voice, "What does everyone want to eat?" InuYasha, "Ramen!" Kagome, "Anything is fine." Miroku, "Ham sandwich!" Sango, "Fish!" Shippou, "CANDY!" Naraku, "Anything you wanna cook, Schnookums!" Kikyou, "I dont eat...." Jaken and Kouga say nothing, as one is unconcious and the other is outside smoking. They all yell what they want at the same time and poor Sesshoumaru hears nothing but Ramen, and Schnookums, he runs into the kitchen and decides to make chicken while mumbling, "Why did I even bother to ask?"  
  
12:30 P.M. The smell of chicken being cooked reaches Kouga's nose, he twitches and wakes up. The cast all wait outside the kitchen complaining about being hungry when Kouga comes running in, "Where's da food at?!" Kagome turns around and starts to chuckle causing everyone else to turn to see what is so funny. Kagome was laughing at Kouga's hair, which was sticking up in every which way, due to him lying on the floor for several hours in odd positions, most of which resembled a headstand. The crew starts laughing just as Sesshoumaru comes out carrying a tray with the chicken on it. Sesshoumaru lets out a shreik at the sight of Kouga's hair and drops the tray, ruining the chicken. Of course the cast all groan in dismay, and blame Kouga for the lose of their food. Kouga is forced to make another meal for them. But since Kouga isnt much of a cook Miroku offers to help him out. They disappear into the kitchen, leaving the cast to wait for their return and the lunch.  
  
1:00 P.M. Loud crashing and banging of pots, pans, the sound of a cabinet door being torn off its hinges, and Miroku's scolding can be heard from the kitchen. Sesshoumaru paces back and forth worrying about the welfare of his kitchen. Naraku tries to comfort him by cuddling him and telling him "It'll be okay, Sesshy-poo."  
  
1:15 P.M. The crew is complaining nonstop about being hungry, Big Hoo pays visits every once in a while to tell them all to "Shut your traps!"  
  
1:30 P.M. To the great pleasure of the crew and relief of Sesshoumaru, its lunch time! Miroku comes out carrying a huge plate of sandwiches. He says, "I have a variety of choices: peanut butter and jelly, ham, turkey, peanut butter and banana, chicken, grilled cheese, and tuna." He sets the tray down on the table, most of the sandwiches disappear in seconds. Miroku rushes back into the kitchen and returns with a plate with fish(for Sango), and a wolf youkai covered in white flour and broken eggs. Lunch goes over pretty well, even the chicken that was dropped on the floor was eaten, after a tug-o-war with it between InuYasha and Kouga.  
  
2:00 P.M. Shippou is out like a light on the couch because he ate the turkey sandwich, and his sugar level is lower than usual. Sango, Kagome and Miroku are having a pleasant conversation about the origin of sporks. InuYasha and Kouga are arguing about who gets to lick the spot where the chicken hit the floor. Naraku and Sesshoumaru are giving Kikyou a makeover, much against her will. Jaken is still outside, but he isnt smoking since he ran out of cigarettes a while ago. Big Hoo comes on, "Okay it's time to give you guys your weekly assignment. This week you each must give two compliments a day to whomever you choose. Have fun! Big Hoo over and out!" InuYasha falls over, "You've got to be kidding me!" Miroku smiles and turns to Sango, "Sango, you're hot! And I love your butt!" He grins, and receives The Look from both Sango and Kagome. Miroku laughs nervously and hurries away from them before he gets slapped. Sesshoumaru and Naraku quickly give more than two compliments to one another about their make-up, hair, and fashion sense. InuYasha is licking the chicken spot, Kouga sits in a corner and glares at him. Kagome walks over to InuYasha, "Uhhh...ummm...for the assignment thing...you're uhh...really nice." She blushes and looks at the ground. InuYasha stops licking the ground and looks up, mutters, "Feh" and walks away. Kouga immediately takes over the abandoned chicken spot, causing Naraku to tug on Sesshoumaru's sleeve, point and giggle. Kagome decides not to compliment Kouga because he is still covered in flour and eggs, his hair is still disheveled, and he is licking the floor. She chuckles to herself and walks over to Sango, "Umm I was gonna compliment Kouga but..." nods her head in Kouga's direction, "....look at him. So I'll just compliment you instead, so umm Sango, you're a really good friend." Sango smiles, "Thanks, you are too." Kagome walks off to find InuYasha and Sango wonders if she should use her last compliment on Miroku.  
  
3:00 P.M. Sango is sleeping, using Miroku's lap as a pillow while he strokes her hair. A loud piercing screech shatters the house's silence, and the vase on the table. Sango wakes with a start, "WHAT THE!?" Sesshoumaru runs through the house wearing nothing but a towel and is crying loudly. Naraku chases after asking, "What's the matter, Snufflepuff?" Sesshoumaru points toward the bathroom, "S-s-spider!!!!!" Naraku goes into the bathroom and runs out squealing, "SPIDER!" Miroku gets up, "For the love of God, shut UP! You friggin' pansies!" He storms to the bathroom and comes out holding a plastic spider in his hand, "THIS?! You were afraid of THIS?! You broke the vase on the table for THIS?!YOU WOKE UP SANGO FOR THIS?!?!?!?!?! A PLASTIC spider!!!" Everyone looks at the normally quiet Miroku in shock, Kouga hides behind a plant, and Shippou dives under the couch in fear. Miroku looks around the room, "Who did this?!" He notices Kikyou snickering in a corner and moves toward, "YOU! YOU! YOU DID THIS!" Kikyou looks up in terror, "OH SH*T!" She disappears through the wall. Miroku stares at the wall, "You have to come back sometime! You're lucky you're already dead!!" Miroku walks around the house growling and giving the wall Kikyou went through evil glares, this is enough even to send InuYasha running away with his tail between his legs. Miroku flops down on the couch by Sango, "Sorry about that...I just get a little irritated...Heh heh..." Sango blushes, knowing he did all that for her, "It's okay..." Sango notices the shattered vase, "Oh dear.." Miroku chuckles. Suddenly a loud and rather angry Big Hoo is heard from hidden speakers, "Who broke the vase?!" Miroku, Sango, Kagome and InuYasha point towards the bathroom where Sesshoumaru is being coaxed back to his shower by Naraku. Big Hoo is outraged, "Sesshoumaru!!!" Sesshoumaru winces and stutters, "Y-y-yes, w-what is it, B-b-big Hoo?" Big Hoo starts lecturing Sesshoumaru about how chances are the spider wouldn't have been poisonous, plus the house is -or was- spotless therefore spiders wouldn't live there, and there was no need at ALL to run through the house screeching like a little school girl. Miroku has calmed down and is enjoying the lecture, Kikyou cautiously floats through a wall as far from Miroku as possible and looks around like a deer going into the meadow. Big Hoo finishes the lecture with, "You will be punished Sesshoumaru, by the time you go to bed I shall have thought up a good one for you. Oh and clean up that vase! And uhh Kouga, take a bath! You're dirty as hell. Big Hoo over and out!" Big Hoo leaves with a small evil snicker. Everyone comes out of hiding, except Kouga, he is having a wonderful conversation about Fleas and Ticks with the plant he hid behind earlier.  
  
4:00 P.M. Sesshoumaru is in the kitchen crying, while cleaning up after Miroku and Kouga "cooked lunch". Sesshoumaru is being comforted by Naraku, "It's okay, Plum Muffin, your punishment can't be that bad." Sesshoumaru sighs, "Im not crying about the punishment. Those two little punks toasted my beautiful kitchen!" He opens a cabinet and indented cans, open spice containers and empty bags of flour fall on him. He holds back a squeal in fear that Big Hoo will lecture him again. Naraku pushes Sesshoumaru out of the kitchen, "Go clean yourself up, Sugar-dumpling. I'll take care of the kitchen." Sesshoumaru obeys and skips off to the bathroom. The bathroom door is closed, Sesshoumaru hears splashing and muffled conversation from inside. Sesshoumaru knocks and Kouga yells from inside, "GO AWAY! I'm taking a bath!" Sesshoumaru waits outside for about an hour when the door finally opens, Kouga comes out carrying the plant from earlier and still deep in conversation with it, "Yeah, Bob, my mom never seemed to have time for me, with me being the middle child of forty." He continues walking and talking to the plant, now named Bob, and doesn't even notice Sesshoumaru. Sesshoumaru gives Kouga a funny look as he goes into the bathroom and slams the door closed, he prepares for a 2 hour make-over and a nice relaxing bubble bath with scented candles(complimentary of Naraku). Kouga goes off into a corner in the backyard with Bob and starts another conversation, this one about Kagome and "That dog-turd..."  
  
5:30 P.M. Kagome finds InuYasha in the room Kouga opened. He is asleep on the bed that wasn't jumped on by the wolf. She sits down on the edge of the bed and watches him, "Awww he's so cute when he's asleep..." she whispers. InuYasha's dog ears twitch and he opens his eyes, "Mmm? Whawazat?" he mumbles, still half-asleep. In his half asleep state he mutters, "I lied..." Kagome looks at him, very confused, "Uhhh What do you mean, Inu?" He's too tired too realize what he's saying, "About who I loved...well, the answer wasn't a lie...I do love my mom...but I love someone more...." He snores a little and Kagome blushes, "Uhhh InuYasha....Who?" He's almost completely back to sleep and as he goes to say who Kouga bursts into the room, "BOB'S MAD AT ME!" He has tears in his eyes. Kagome looks up, "Huh?!" Kouga sits on the other bed and hugs a pillow, "Bob hates me.....he got mad at me....I told him I was sorry but he didn't care, I told him I didn't mean to......" He sniffles. Kagome has a look of pure bewilderment on her face, she lifts an eyebrow and tilts her head, "Who is Bob?" Kouga, "Bob is my best friend... or he WAS my friend! DIDJA HEAR THAT BOB!? WAS!!!!! YOU AREN'T MY BEST FRIEND ANYMORE! I HATE YOU!" Kouga has been yelling all this out the window in the direction of the garden. He sees Bob, "BOB I'M SORRY! DON'T BE MAD!" He runs outside to ask Bob for forgiveness, as he runs outside he narrowly misses crashing into Miroku, a table, two walls, a speaker, a T.V. and several doors. Miroku blinks, shakes his head, sighs and keeps walking, "Man, he has to be on something, that guy is whacked....."  
  
6:16 P.M. Sesshoumaru has finally gotten out of the bathroom, to the great relief of Shippou, who has been doing the "Pee Pee Dance" for the past half hour. Sesshoumaru is in the kitchen making Spaghetti, Italian meatballs, and garlic bread. InuYasha is still sleeping, Kagome never got an answer out of InuYasha so she went to talk to Sango, both are on the couch looking at a Cosmopolitan magazine and giggling when they see pictures of hot guys. Naraku is standing behind the couch and giggling at the hot guys too. Kouga has made up with Bob and is now watching T.V. and eating popcorn with him. Kagome looks at Kouga, "Umm Kouga, you shouldn't be sitting so close to the T.V. " and Sango adds, "Neither should Bob..." she snickers. Kouga looks up from the bowl of popcorn he had his head in, "But Bob can't see from way back there!" Kagome sighs and goes back to her magazine. Jaken is eyeing Bob trying to decide if the plant would work as a temporary cigarette, Jaken thinks to himself, "I swear that thing has got to be pot! That would explain why the wolf is talking to it....or maybe he's just blind, crazy, or stupid....or all." Kikyou is still avoiding Miroku, Sesshoumaru, and Naraku, whenever she runs into one of them they give her cold menacing stares that can freeze even a dead priestess's blood. Shippou is plotting the perfect way to scare InuYasha awake for dinner. Big Hoo comes on, "Sesshoumaru! Your punishment is......no bathroom for two days!" Sesshoumaru and Naraku both burst into tears and run into the backyard. Sango yells after them, "OI! DON'T GO ANYWHERE! WE NEED YOU TO COOK DINNER!" The rest shout basically the same thing. Naraku gives them all "The Bird" and proceeds outside to comfort Sesshoumaru, "Come on, Pumpkin, it's not that bad..." Naraku tries desperatley to cheer him up, knowing that dinner must be made and not to mention that he hates seeing Sesshoumaru upset. Naraku cuddles, nibbles, giggles and huggles Sesshoumaru, which cheers him up and Sesshoumaru returns the affection, only to be stared at by Jaken, who's been outside all day and this is the most interesting thing he's all day other then the wolf and the plant. Naraku and Sesshoumaru return inside after their little love fest, and Sesshoumaru returns to making dinner.  
  
7:45 P.M. Everyone takes a seat at the dining room table(from right to left-InuYasha, Kagome, Shippou, Miroku, Sango, Seshoumaru, Naraku, Kouga and Bob). Kikyou and Jaken are outside, Kikyou doesn't eat, and Jaken still isn't allowed inside. Sesshoumaru dishes out the food to everyone's delight, well other then Kouga and Bob's(so Kouga says). Kouga stares at the plate and frowns, "Bob says that this food looks like something he would find in the toilet!" Sesshoumaru looks hurt, and Naraku gives Kouga The Look. Kouga stops complaining but refuses to eat if Bob isn't going to eat. Everyone else eats their food, the girls give their compliments, and Miroku lets out a loud burp, "Compliments to the chef!" Sango rolls her eyes, "Nice one, Miroku....hey! that was my compliment! I got them all done today!" Sango gets up and is followed by Kagome, they sit down on the couch, Kagome jumps up, she sat on the abandoned popcorn bowl Kouga had earlier, "Ai-ya! Messy boys!" she hears a loud belch from the dining room, and Miroku says, "Good one, InuYasha!" Sesshoumaru and Naraku hurry out in disgust, "YUCK! A burping contest! EWWWW!" They both scurry to a corner and start giving each other make overs. Kagome and Sango listen in disgust as the burps get louder and louder, every burp with a comment from the other competitors. Kouga stomps out of the dining carrying Bob, "It's not fair! InuYasha says Bob can't compete because they can't hear him! Bob is great at burping too! He woulda won!" He walks off to the doorless room and starts building a fort with blankets and a mattress, Shippou builds a fort on the other side of the room and pretty soon Sango hears Kouga yell, "I declare war on you kitsune! BOMBS AWAY! MWAHAHAHA!" Crashing sounds, some shreiks from Shippou, and Kouga laughing evilly come from room 1c(a.k.a. the doorless room). Kagome gets up and checks to see if Miroku and InuYasha are done their contest, she finds Miroku doing a victory dance on the dining room table with a bottle of Sake in his hand. Sesshoumaru sees him dancing and yells. "TAKE IT OFF!" Miroku starts to untie his clothes and Kagome shreiks in fright, then runs to the room that is now a battle field. She narrowly misses getting hit in the head by a flower pot thrown by Kouga. She stares in shock at the destroyed room- mattresses all over the place, bedsheets tied to the closet door, broken unidentifiable objects everywhere, hangers all over the floor, and a completely dismantled bed serving as Shippou's shelter from Kouga's attacks. She screams at the top of her lungs, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!" Everything stops, there isn't a sound in the whole house. Silence.  
  
8:15 P.M. More silence.  
  
8:25 P.M. Miroku's Sake kicks in and he starts singing, "I'm too sexy for my staff! Too sexy for my staff" He throws his staff and it knocks a picture off the wall. Sesshoumaru and Naraku giggle uncontrolably as they see that Miroku is wearing nothing but boxers and sandals. Miroku sings, "I'm too sexy for my sandals! Too sexy for my sandals!" He kicks off his sandals and one hits Naraku in the face, the other one is somewhere up on a bookshelf. The only reason Sango is so quiet during this is because she is watching MTV music videos and is blasting the surround sound. She notices a sandal go flying past and turns around, she screeches louder then Sesshoumaru after seeing the plastic spider, several mirrors and bowls shatter. The house is once again dead silent.  
  
8:35 P.M. Dead silence. Kagome is passed out on the floor after getting hit by a shoe thrown by Kouga. Naraku is holding a sore face. Sesshoumaru is patting his back and stroking his hair. Miroku is frozen in shock on the table, only wearing boxers as Sango stares at him in disbelief. InuYasha is under the dining room table, trying not to laugh as he drinks from the forgotten Sake bottle. Kikyou and Jaken have their faces pressed against the glass door as they stare in at the sight. Kouga has discovered a slingshot and is now tormenting Shippou with perfectly aimed peas. Bob is ever silent in his shelter(the closet).  
  
8:45 P.M. Sango is just about to have a heart attack just as Big Hoo speaks,"Well all, I'm back from my shopping trip, hope you were all goo-" Big Hoo is silent as he looks at the views of the house in all the cameras, "W-what HAPPENED!? YOU ARE BUSTED! LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO THE HOUSE!!!" Silence. Suddenly everyone starts yelling their excuses. Kouga immediately points at the closet and blames Bob, "HE TOLD ME TO DO IT!" Sango yells, "HOW WOULD YOU REACT IF YOU TURNED AROUND AND SAW A PERVERT STRIPPING!?" Shippou squeaks, "I was only defending myself from that wolf's attacks!" Kagome is out cold and can't say anything. InuYasha emerges from under the table holding an empty Sake bottle(InuYasha has taken a GREAT liking to the sake), he only hiccups and passes out on the floor. Miroku is trying to pull his clothes back on without anyone noticing. Sesshoumaru is trying not to laugh at the sound of surprise in Big Hoo's voice. Naraku is still holding his face, he is hiding a sandal imprint. Kikyou and Jaken are rolling on the ground outside laughing. Big Hoo has had enough, "GET IN BED! NOWWWWWWW!!!!!"  
  
9:00 P.M. Everyone stops talking at once and look around, muttering and murmuring can be heard, and some hiccups from InuYasha. Someone yells, "Where are we supposed to sleep?!" Big Hoo chuckles, "On the floor, on the couch, in the bathtub, outside, hell if I care! NOW GO TO BED!" Miroku, Sesshoumaru and Naraku race to the doorless room and trying to claim a matress, Kouga has dragged Kagome onto a bed and claims a corner of the room as his own, building a nest of the matresses, pillows and blankets. Shippou climbs onto the bed with Kagome and falls asleep immediately. They race back out to the couch, which is occupied by Sango. Miroku tries to persuade Sango into sharing the pull out bed, but she refuses. Sesshoumaru gets all his boas and him and Naraku make a little bed in a corner of the living room. Kikyou and Jaken stay outside, Kikyou doesn't sleep and Jaken can't because he needs a cigarette to fall asleep. Miroku goes to sleep on the table that had earlier served as his stage. InuYasha is already passed out under the table, using the tablecloth as a blanket. All is quiet except for some muttering from Miroku about cold tables.  
  
10:00 P.M. The house is silent, the only sounds heard are snores from Kouga, mumbles from Miroku, and InuYasha keeps saying, "Fluffums......zzzzzzzz.....Sake......." Sesshoumaru's snores sound alot like giggles, and upon closer inspection it appears that Sesshoumaru and Naraku are playing "Footsies" and trying to supress their giggles.  
  
11:45 P.M. Sesshoumaru and Naraku are finally asleep, Sesshoumaru is sucking on his thumb and Naraku is muttering, "I love you, Sesshie-poo....."  
  
12:00 A.M. Kikyou has wandered into the garden in search of souls. Jaken is going through withdrawels from lack of nicotine.  
  
12:04 A.M. Strange rustling sounds are coming from room 1c, the only other noise in the room is Kouga's snores and Shippou's squeaky snores.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Author Note: I hope you enjoy this! There shall be more soon -A few days, maybe one. Disclaimer: We do not own Inuyasha or any other characters, blah blah and all that other stuff. Credit: We give credit to "The Fluffy Mag" for the idea of this fic! 


	2. TuesdayWeek1

Big Hoobamawatzit  
  
Tuesday  
  
7:00 A.M.  
  
Its early morning and the entire cast is sound asleep, except Kikyou, she never sleeps. InuYasha is under the dining room table hugging an empty bottle of Sake and some stuffed thing. Kagome is sleeping on the bed in the doorless room cradling Shippou like a baby. Sango is sleeping on the pull out bed, Miroku beside her, he moved there when he couldn't take the cold table anymore. Sesshoumaru and Naraku are asleep on a huge pile of boas. Jaken is sleeping right outside the doorless room with a big grin on his face. Kikyou is floating around the garden, enjoying the silence, it reminds her of death. Kouga is curled up in a little ball and snoring softly. Wonderful, peaceful silence.  
  
8:00 A.M.  
  
A bloodcurdling scream comes from bedroom 1c. Everyone is startled awake. InuYasha jumps up and hits the table, he holds his head while cursing loudly. Kagome screams and accidently throws Shippou in the air. Shippou is now stuck on the ceiling fan. Sango wakes up and sees Miroku beside her. Miroku wakes up to find that Sango has thrown him into a wall. Sesshoumaru jumps up and Naraku catches him, they both stare in the direction the scream came from with scared looks on their faces. Jaken hops up and runs out of the house. Kikyou looks toward the house with mild interest, then begins to plot a cruel joke on whoever screamed. Kouga is standing up staring at the spot Bob had been last night. All that remains is a pot and a pile of ashes. Everyone comes into the room and look around, Miroku asks, "What was that yell for?" Kouga points a shakey hand at Bob's remains, "S-s-someone KILLED Bob!!!!!!" Sango frowns, "Who would want to kill a plant?" Miroku bends down and looks at the ashes, "Maybe that someone wanted to USE Bob......." All the cast understand what he means except Kouga, he was the only one who didn't know Bob was a pot plant(Big Hoo still claims he has no idea how it got in the house). Kagome looks at everyone carefully, "Well none of you look stoned, so it couldn't be any of you. It's either Jaken or Kikyou....can Kikyou smoke?" They all ponder about if dead people can smoke or not while Kouga continues to stare at whats left of Bob. InuYasha finally talks, " It had to be Jaken, he used up all his cigarettes yesterday remember?" Kouga's eyes flash coldly and he runs out of the room. A moment later you can hear Jaken's screams from outside, "PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! OW! I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF! OW!" Kouga chases Jaken around for about fifteen minutes hitting him upside the head, then he finally gives him a good kick in the head. Kouga comes in the room looking both depressed and satisfied. He starts to put Bob's remains in a shoebox. Everyone else head in different directions to do different things. Sango and Kagome go and watch some cartoons, Miroku brushes his teeth, Sesshoumaru and Naraku are putting on their make-up in the kitchen(Sesshoumaru still isn't allowed in the bathroom), InuYasha is scavenging around for another bottle of Sake, and Shippou remains stuck on the ceiling fan, which has just been turned on by Kouga.  
  
8:52 A.M.  
  
Big Hoo comes on, "Gooooooood morning everybody!" Big Hoo seems in a really good mood today, and seems to have forgotten about their punishment, "Well, I was doing some thinking last night and I realized that you all didn't finish your questions. So that's another punishment, added on to the one for the mess last night." Everyone flinches. Big Hoo clears his throat, "*ahem* Your punishments will be: you miss breakfast for today, you must clean the house, I want it SPOTLESS, and I want those two dirty mutts, InuYasha and Kouga, to get a bath. If they refuse, use the hose." InuYasha starts yelling at camera 8c(which is currently turned off), "I'm not a dirty mutt! No one can make me take a bath! And you ain't using that hose on me!!" He slaps the camera and storms down the hall. In his drunken rage he forgets that all the other bedroom doors are locked and tries to open one, and much to everyone's surprise -it opens! InuYasha looks inside, then passes out(yes he found another bottle of Sake in Miroku's bag). Kagome steps over InuYasha and looks around room 1d. Big Hoo speaks again, "Now, that I gave you all your punishments, I shall give you your task for the day. Pick your roommates! All bedroom doors are now open. And Kouga, since you broke in to room 1c yesterday, you get to keep that room. Big Hoo over and out!"  
  
9:18 A.M.  
  
After much arguing, fussing, and whining, and a lot of begging from Miroku to Sango, the roommates are decided: InuYasha and Kouga in room 1c. Kagome and Sango in room 1d. Miroku and Shippou in room 1e. Naraku and Sesshoumaru in room 1b, they have renamed it "Palace of the Princesses". Kikyou and Jaken in room 1a, or outside if they so choose. For an hour everyone sets up their room, unpacks, and get settled in.  
  
10:18 A.M.  
  
InuYasha, still drunk as a skunk, has woken up and is now gnawing on a corner of the wall and eating the paint chips. Kouga is attempting to eat his mattress for several reasons, one: he didn't eat last night, two: he didn't eat this morning so he is starving, three: Miroku told him, "Mattresses have alot of nutrients, protien and healthy fibers.", and four: he is still mourning over the loss of Bob. Sesshoumaru is painting their bedroom hot pink, as Naraku nances around throwing glitter on the wet paint. Kagome and Sango are taping pictures of hot guys from magazines on their walls, when Kagome walks out of the room in search of more magazines Sango stuffs a picture of certain perverted monk under her pale yellow pillow. Shippou is unconcious after being sent flying when the ceiling fan was turned on earlier. Miroku is putting pictures of Sango all over his walls, every single inch of the walls are covered. He then starts putting all of his dirty magazines into an avacado box and stuffs it under his bed, making sure that Shippou won't find it.  
  
11:30 A.M.  
  
Sesshoumaru is now in the kitchen making some lunch, he decides not to make chicken again since that caused a disaster last time. He decides to make spinach and meatball omelettes with a side of home made potato salad. The smell of food quickly attracts the crew, who all wait in the dining room for their lunch. Jaken and Kikyou are outside having a pleasant conversation about antique silverware. Nobody seems to notice the fact that Jaken hasn't eaten anything since they got in the house, but its shocking he doesn't have the munchies.. The cast sit around the dining room table as Sesshoumaru walks out with a large tray of food. Everyone takes some but everyone is hesitant to eat. Several hushed comments about the food are heard around the table and Sango screeches, "MY LUNCH JUST WINKED AT ME!" Miroku stands up and pounds his fist into her omelette, "That'll teach you to make a move on her!" Everyone stares at them, and pushes their plates away. Kouga looks at all the food and mumbles something about tasteless mattresses and pokes the omelette. He licks his finger and everyone waits for his reaction.  
  
11: 43 A.M.  
  
Kouga jumps up and runs to the bathroom with his hand over his mouth. The crew scoot their chairs back and watch their lunch cautiously, afraid that it will attack at any minute. Sesshoumaru is in tears that no one likes his cooking and Naraku, as usual, is comforting him, "It's okay Peach pie." Sesshoumaru walks out into the living room and sulks behind the T.V.(his new found shelter). Naraku glares menacingly at the cast...and the food, and skips off to comfort Sesshoumaru some more. Kouga walks out, and everyone turns their heads to see Kouga with half a bar of soap sticking out of his mouth. Kagome raises an eyebrow, "Kouga...? You sure that's healthy?" Kouga shrugs and finishes the remainder of the soap, "Atleast it isn't moving!!" InuYasha sits up and slams his hands on the table, "I'm starving!! Let's order pizza!" Kagome looks at him, "Good idea...'cept we have no phones." InuYasha growls, "Feh!" and storms off to sulk outside. Kikyou is reciting ways to commit suicide, "Jump off a cliff, jump off a building, jump off a bridge, jump out of a plane, jump in front of a moving vehicle, hang yourself, overdose on pills, overdose on drugs, drown your- ..." She stops when she realizes a particular hanyou has wondered outside with an irritated look covering his face. She floats over to him, "InuYasha, did that bit-...I mean...Did Kagome do something to you? 'Cause you know I can get back at her if she hurt you! I will make her suffer! I will-" She's cut off by InuYasha, "No. I'm just hungry..." Kikyou nods, "I see." InuYasha wanders over and leans against a tree and Kikyou floats closely behind, "Is there anything I can do?" InuYasha snorts, "Not unless you have food....REAL food, not mutated alien meat that a particualr brother of mine thinks is food." Kikyou tilts her head and tries to think of something that she can do to feed InuYasha.  
  
12:10 P.M.  
  
Back inside Kouga is eating soap, shampoo, and other non-edible items he found in the bathroom. He offers them to several members of the cast only to recieve a disgusted snort and have the cast member walk away. Kouga starts making funny faces and twitching, Kagome looks at him, "You okay there, Kouga?" Kouga doesn't respond but clenches his stomach and looks like he's about to puke. He burps and a bubble comes out of his mouth. His eyes go wide, "WOW! Wouldjya look at that! I made bubbles!!" He frowns for a moment, "Bob would have liked to see this....Oh well!" He burps and two small bubbles appear from his mouth. Kagome shakes her head and walks away. Kouga continues burping bubbles and the living room looks as if it's being attacked by soap bubbles. Kouga burps a bubble in Naraku's face and Naraku sniff it, "That smells oddly familiar...Wait...Why are you burping bubbles? Did you eat dish soap?" Kouga spins in a circle and burps up a bubble again, "Nope! I got 'em from the potty room!" Naraku's jaw drops and he stares in bewilderment, "You....You...You..." He's too shocked to do anything but twitch and stutter. Kouga flicks Naraku on the nose, "What's wrong babboon-butt?!" He burps a bubble in his face once again. Naraku faints and Kouga steps on his chest as if he won some battle, "I, Kouga, have defeated Naraku! Mu wa ha ha!" He burps several times while spinning around and flailing his arms in the air, "Wheee! *burp*" Miroku walks out of his room and into the living room, "....The Hell? What...What's going on here?" He looks at the passed out Naraku, floating bubbles and a prancing Kouga, "Did Jaken give you some of Bob?" He shakes his head and doesn't wait for an answer, he returns to his room. Kouga runs smack into a wall and gets knocked out, he falls on top of Naraku in a way that looks so inappropraite. Kagome is the one who finds them. "..............Whoa....." She blinks a few times and begins to have a giggle fit, making sure not to wake them. She runs to her room and finds Sango, "Give me a camera! Now!" Sango looks around and picks up a disposable camera off a bag of clothes and hands it to her. Kagome runs out and Sango follows. Sango sees naraku and Kouga and freezes in her tracks, "......I never knew that they were into that kinda thing...Wow...Scary..." She shakes her head and Kagome snaps a few photos. Sango and Kagome snicker and giggles and race back to their room.  
  
12:45  
  
Kouga and Naraku have been seen by everyone and recieved several giggles and snickers. Naraku slowly comes to and groans because there is a smelly, heavy Thing on him. He rubs his eyes and sees it's Kouga, "AAAHHHHH!!! GET OFF ME!!!!" He squeals in Kouga's sensitive ear. Kouga hops straight up and yells, "And really bad eggs!" And glances around, obviously woken from a dream. Naraku hisses and fixes his hair, "Why? How did this happen?!" He remembers he passed out because of the soap issue and B**ch Slaps Kouga, then flips his hair and storms off to his room. Kouga just stands there blinking. Big Hoo comes on, "Hello all! I think it's about time to get your punishments done. Now get a move!" Everyone goes to Kagome, since she seems to know how to use vacuums, dusters, and all the other cleaning appliances. Kagome gives out the orders to everyone. InuYasha and Sesshoumaru must clean the kitchen. Naraku and Shippou clean the bedrooms. Kouga and Miroku clean the dining room. Sango and Kagome clean the living room.  
  
1:00 P.M.  
  
Yelling can be heard from the dining room as Kouga and Miroku fight off angry omelettes. Kouga yells, "OW! IT BIT ME!" He comes running out of the dining room with an omelette on his hand, he proceeds to beat it on a wall. Miroku is surrounded by three omelettes and he begins to retaliate with his staff. The omelettes squeal and hide under the fridge. The rest of the cast aren't having as much trouble cleaning as Miroku and Kouga.  
  
2:00 P.M.  
  
Everyone sits around the cleaned living room. Kouga and Miroku are covered in the remains of the omelettes. Big Hoo speaks, "Well, your punishments are almost done. But InuYasha and Kouga still need baths." Both mentioned demons flinch. Kagome pulls a quarter from God knows where and says, "Kouga, heads or tails?" Kouga looks up, "Tails?" Kagome flips the coin and it lands on heads."Well, InuYasha you're up first." InuYasha sighs and goes into the bathroom. He starts his bath and takes his time.  
  
2:30 P.M.  
  
Alot of splashing is coming from the bathroom, finally InuYasha emerges clean, dry, and fully dressed. Kagome claps, "I didn't know your hair was so white! Kouga you're up!" She looks around, "Where'd he go?" Miroku points at the couch and whispers, "Under there...." InuYasha and Miroku pick up the couch to reveal a dust covered Kouga underneath. Miroku drags Kouga outside to the hose by his tail. Kouga claws the ground, leaving a trail of claw marks on the floor. Miroku goes to turn on the hose but finds it missing, "Where is it?! WHO HAS THE HOSE?!" He growls and grabs Kouga by the back of his shirt and tail, counts to three, "One....two......three!" and tosses him into the pool. Kouga climbs out of the pool and shakes off the water. Miroku mutters, "Dumb mutt." and walks inside. They lock Kouga outside so he doesn't get the clean house wet. Kouga sits by the glass door and pouts for about fifteen minutes then goes off to explore the backyard.  
  
3:17 P.M.  
  
Kagome opens the door to outside and calls, "KOUGA! YOU CAN COME IN NOW!" Silence. Kagome looks around, shrugs and goes back inside, "Probably found a new friend in the garden or something..."  
  
3:26 P.M.  
  
Sesshoumaru walks into the kitchen and comes back out angry as hell, "WHO HAS MUDDY FEET?! THEY TRACKED ALL OVER MY BEAUTIFUL KITCHEN FLOOR!!!" Everyone looks at their feet, no one has mud on the bottom. Sesshoumaru frowns, "Whoever it was didn't have shoes on so it isn't one of the humans......" Everyone glances at InuYasha, and Kagome shrieks slightly, "KOUGA! He must have went around the side yard and snuck in a window! Ai- yee!" InuYasha snorts, "That wolf scum! I should have known he was behind all this!" Sesshoumaru's normally heavenly expression has grown very sour, twitching and frowning. He points at the floor, "Follow those footsteps!" The crew does as told and follows the footsteps, which lead through the dining room and in the living room, the foot prints disappear behind the T.V. Sesshoumaru stomps over to the T.V. and finds a sleeping Kouga, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY KITCHEN!?!?!?!?!" Kouga jumps up, "And the monkey got flushed down the toilet!" He sees a Sesshoumaru, who resembles a mother that just found out her fifteen year old son is in jail. Sesshoumaru's beautifully manicured hands start reaching for Kouga's neck. Naraku grabs Sesshoumaru's hands, "Now, Peanut-fluffama-puff, don't ruin your nails on that wolf!" Naraku gives Kouga a stare colder then a polar bear's butt after sitting on an iceberg in the middle of winter. Kouga yelps and runs outside, where he must now stay until tomorrow. All windows and doors are locked so he can't sneak back inside. He sits at the door like a beaten dog. The cast ignore him for the rest of the evening.  
  
4:30 P.M.  
  
The crew relax until dinner time. Shippou is drawing pictures with crayons provided by Kagome. Kagome, Sango, and Miroku are watching a movie called, "Lilo & Stitch" Sesshoumaru and naraku are making Beef Stir Fry in the kitchen. InuYasha is sleeping on a bookshelf, using Miroku's forgotten sandal as a pillow. Jaken is hiding somewhere from Kouga, as he has been since the morning. Kikyou is chatting with Kouga about the many wonderful ways to kill yourself.  
  
5:02 P.M.  
  
"DINNER TIME!" yells an enthusiastic Sesshoumaru. The cast file into the dining room and take their seats. They all begin eating, every few minutes Kagome or Sango begin tapping their fork on the table in a perculiar rhythm, then begin to giggle. It's some sort of morse code, Kagome finishes tapping and Sango looks at InuYasha and almost falls out of her chair laughing. Kagome had "tapped" to Sango, "InuYasha has food hanging out of his mouth, and he doesn't notice it." Miroku looks at them and watches their forks intently, trying to decipher their language. Dinner goes over well, InuYasha finally notices the food on his face, blushes, mutters, "Feh!" and eats the food. Big Hoo comes on, "Hey everyone don't forget that you need to give two compliments by the end of today! Buh-Byes!" Miroku is the first to compliment, "Sango, your hair is really shiny and pretty today! And you smell like roses!" InuYasha grumbles, "Let's just get this over with so we don't get punished again." InuYasha compliments on Kagome's skirt and hair. Naraku and Sesshoumaru leave the table, complimenting each other over and over. Kagome says InuYasha looks nice after his bath, and he smells nice too. Shippou tells Sesshoumaru that he made good food, and that Naraku's finger nails are really cool. Kikyou floats through the dining room wall and compliments InuYasha, asks him to come to hell with her, recieves a, "No." and disappears again. Jaken comments from his hiding spot that Kouga's best friend was really good, and that Bob made his day better. Kouga growls at Jaken then yells two compliments to Kagome through the glass door. Sango goes into her room and gives compliments to her picture of Miroku under her pillow. She comes back out and says she finished her task by complimenting the hot guys on her wall. Miroku sighs sadly and stares at the dining room floor. When everyone is finished and has left the table Kagome collects the leftovers into a bowl and gives it to Kouga, who has been yelling at his stomach because it growled.  
  
6:00 P.M.  
  
Big Hoo surprises them all, "HOWDY HOWDY HOWDY! I got another task for you!" Everyone groans and Big Hoo continues happily, "All you have to do is make a sign for your bedroom door with your roommate." InuYasha grumbles, "Big Hoo...Me and wolf-scum ain't got a bedroom door..." Big Hoo comments on this point, "Hang it on the wall! Big Hoo over and out!" Big Hoo disconnects. InuYasha nods and Kagome goes to her room, comes back out, and passes out paper, pencils, markers, crayons, colored pencils, and other art supplies. The crew pair up with their roommates and wander off to their rooms.  
  
7:00 P.M.  
  
Everyone is slowly coming out to show off their pictures. InuYasha comes from the backyard, where Kouga and him drew their picture. It has messy letters that say "Den of The Wolf King...and that mutt" Jaken and Kikyou's is taken away and they are both ordered to make another, Jaken drew a pot plant and Kikyou drew an InuYasha lacking clothing, they make another one that has hearts around a cigarette and InuYasha. Kagome and Sango wrote in pretty writing "Sanctuary from the Boys" with little hearts and flowers scattered about on the picture. Miroku and Shippou's picture says "Shrine of Sango" and in sloppy little writing on the bottom it says "and candy". Sesshoumaru and naraku come giggling out of their room later than everyone else and show their picture with great pride. It is painted light pink, with sparkles and glitter all over, a large gold crown with many jewels is drawn in the center of the paper and a fluffy boa is also drawn on the paper. They giggle and squeal, and show off their poster to everyone. Everyone, except the banished Kouga, go and hang their signs on their doors, or wall in InuYasha's case.  
  
8:00 P.M.  
  
Big Hoo comes on again, "Okay everyone I must explain about tomorrow! Every Wednesday from now on there shall be a contest, unless stated otherwise. If you refuse to participate you do not eat that night or you sleep outside, cast choice. Whoever wins gets extra food. Tomorrow's contest is a talent show! You may pair up, but only two people per group! For the contest a guest shall come in and judge! TA TA!" Everyone immediately starts talking about what they plan on doing for the contest and try to guess who the guest is going to be. Sesshoumaru and Naraku skip down the hall to prepare their act.  
  
9:03 P.M.  
  
Everyone is out in the living room watching "World's Funniest Videos" and having a relaxing time. Shippou is sound asleep in the popcorn bowl while the rest of the cast laugh at the T.V. Kouga is scratching at the door, complaining that it's cold outside. Sango sighs and turns the T.V. up louder to drown out his whining. Shippou wakes up and starts watching T.V. He hears something about babies, turns around to face Sango and the others on the couch, "Sango, where do babies come from?" Silence.  
  
9:10 P.M.  
  
Sango stutters, "They come from......uhhhhh......ummmmm......errrrr...they come from girls!" Shippou tilts his head, "How do they get there?" More silence. Miroku clears his throat, "They get there when a guy and a girl have s-" He gets cut off when Sango smacks him. Shippou blinks, "Have what? Sugar?" Miroku and InuYasha chuckle, "Yeah, you could call it that." Kagome and Sango give them dirty looks and walk to their rooms with Shippou. In the girls' room they distract from his questions with candy. Miroku stretches out on the couch and drinks some Sake he pulled from his kimono. InuYasha snatches the Sake and runs into his room, he takes a board from the dismantled bed and uses it to block the doorway. Miroku pounds on the makeshift door, "GIVE THAT BACK DAMMIT!" InuYasha ignores him and empties the bottle quickly. He throws the bottle at the wall. The sound of the bottle shattering, and InuYasha's growls startles Miroku and he hurries to his room yelling, "INUYASHA IS AN ANGRY DRUNK!!!!" He slams his door and locks it.  
  
9:50 P.M.  
  
Shippou has to sleep in the girls' since Miroku locked the bedroom door. Sesshoumaru and Naraku are asleep after a game of "dress-up". Miroku sits and stares at a picture of Sango on his ceiling and finally falls asleep. InuYasha wanders around his room growling at random objects and hitting the walls because they "talked back to him". Kikyou floats around the house revising her list of "Perfect Ways to Die", while Jaken attempts to escape Kouga, who is prowling the backyard in boredom.  
  
10:00 P.M.  
  
Everyone is asleep except Kikyou, and Jaken. InuYasha has fallen asleep on the dresser. Kagome is hugging Shippou like a stuffed animal. Sango is hugging her picture of Miroku. Miroku is dreaming of Sango. Sesshoumaru dreams of the perfect make-over. Naraku is snoring loudly and mumbling about how much he loves Sesshoumaru, as usual. Kouga went to sleep on the roof, after howling at the moon for an hour and being yelled at by Miroku to, "SHUT THE HELL UP!!"  
  
12:00 A.M.  
  
Even Jaken is asleep at this time, only Kikyou is moving, floating over the garden and killing vegetables with evil glares. Wonderful Silence.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Author Note: I hope you enjoy this! There shall be more soon -A few days, maybe one. Disclaimer: We do not own Inuyasha or any other characters, blah blah and all that other stuff. Credit: We give credit to "The Fluffy Mag" for the idea of this fic! 


	3. WednesdayWeek1

Big Hoobamawatzit  
  
Wednesday  
  
6:32 A.M.  
  
Kouga is making friends with dinner from two nights ago, a green and fuzzy meatball named Fred. Fred is very talkative, or so Kouga claims. The wolf is trying to play tag with Fred, but Fred only wiggles around, and rolls a little bit. Thanks to the meatball, Bob is completely forgotten, much to poor Jaken's relief and welfare. InuYasha is in his room pacing around, the board that now serves as a door is jammed and he can't get out, he now feels like a caged animal.  
  
6:40 A.M.  
  
InuYasha begins slamming into the board trying to break it loose, he is still slightly drunk from last night. The slamming wakes up everyone in the house, the cast come out of their rooms and go to the makeshift door. Kagome calls through the false door, "InuYasha, what are you doing? Why are you banging around in there?" She is answered with a loud slam against the wanna-be door. Kagome and the others jump back in shock. Miroku takes his staff and pokes at the pretend door, it's jammed pretty tight. Miroku yells to InuYasha, "Step away from the door!" InuYasha apparently doesn't listen as several more loud crashes are heard from the other side, "LET ME OOOOOOOUT!!!!!!!" He growls and snarls, he starts clawing at the fake door. Kagome gasps, "I've got it!" The remainder of the cast look at her questioningly. She takes a deep breath and waits til she hears a loud crash, knowing InuYasha is gonna back up, "SIT!" They hear a muffled "Oof!" and Miroku slams his shoulder against the bed/door causing it to fall in and land on InuYasha, "GAAAH! Get it off me!!!! What the hell?!?! Miroku?! Get off! You're heavy!" Miroku laughs, "Sorry, InuYasha." Miroku steps off the imposter door and allows a very angered InuYasha to shove the board off of him, "FEH! Grrrrrrrrrrrr....Damn hunk of junk!" He kicks it, "Ow!!!!" He growls furociously and storms off to the outside, where he finds Kouga talking to a fuzzy meatball, gives him a funny look and walks off to be alone somewhere and hit things. The cast stands there staring after him, everyone's hair a mess and still in their pajamas. Miroku looks at Sango in her silky pink PJs and smiles, "Goooood morning, Sango...Oh yeah compliments! Sango nice PJs! And they make you look hot!" He grins and walks off to get changed. Sango rolls her eyes and her and Kagome go to get changed before breakfast. Sesshoumaru and Naraku scurry back to their room before anyone sees them without make-up, un-brushed hair, and still in their silky, frilly, lacey PJs. Naraku grabs his make-up case and races to the bathroom, shoving Miroku on the ground in the hall because he wanted to brush his teeth. Sesshoumaru hurries in his room with his make-up(since he is still not allowed in the bathroom until tomorrow), he grabs a mirror and begins to put some mascara on his pretty eye lashes. A loud screech is heard as Sesshoumaru discovers a pimple! Naraku reaches Sesshoumaru's door and goes to comfort him only to discover the door is locked, "Plum-cakes, what's wrong?! Open the door, please, Snuggles?" Sesshoumaru sobs and mutters, "No! I'm sorry, Narrie darling, but no one can see my hideous face!" Naraku gasps, "Sesshy-wesshy! You are NOT hideous! You're beautiful!" Sesshoumaru holds back a sob, "I-...I-...I've got a pimple! Narrie-Warrie, do you still love me?" Naraku screeches, "Of course, Sesshy- doll-face-lover-boy! I will always love you, Button!" Sesshoumaru wipes his tears, "Narrie-baby, can you cook the food today? I-..I can't be seen in this horrible condition!" Naraku considers it and agrees, "Of course I will, Fruit-muffin. Are you going to be okay?" Sesshoumaru mumbles, "Yes, and thank you Darling-dumpling-pie." Naraku giggles, "Anything for you My Love!" and skips off to make breakfast, which he decides he will keep as simple as possible because he isn't much of a cook.  
  
7:30 A.M.  
  
Everyone is dressed, the cast enter the dining room and see their breakfast, a bowl of conrflakes. They sit down, Sango pokes at her food cautiously to make sure it won't attack her. Kouga, who was just let into the house by Naraku, hops into the kitchen, "Goooooood morning everybody!!" Kagome shrieks when she sees the fluffy ball of meat sitting on his shoulder, "Kouga! What is that...that...that THING?!" Kouga grins, "This is Fred! I met him this morning, he was in a trash can, poor guy!" Kouga sits down at the table and Fred jumps off his shoulder, rolls to Miroku's bowl of cereal and jumps inside, it begins to swim around in the milk. Miroku looks about ready to vomit and pushes his chair away, "IT MOVES!!!" Kouga doesn't seem to care that Fred has taken control of Miroku's breakfast. Fred growls as InuYasha pokes it with a spoon, the crew all get up and hurry into the living room trying to escape the snarling meatball. Kouga is the only one who stays in the dining room and finishes eating. He joins the others in the living room, Fred on his shoulder. Big Hoo comes on, "HELLO ALL! I hope you all got a good rest and are prepared for the talent show today! The show will start at 3:00, our guest will be here at 2:30! Until then you are free to do as you please. Peace out!" Kouga heads to the backyard to prepare his talent, Sango and Kagome go into their room, InuYasha explores Miroku's room looking for more Sake, Miroku is walking around the house with a lighter and cross in his hands, incase he meets Fred again. Naraku is in the kitchen cleaning it up so it is presentable for the guest, Shippou is watching cartoons on T.V., Sesshoumaru is glaring at his pimple in the mirror, Kikyou is working on a poem of death for the talent show, and Jaken is in the garden attempting to smoke different kinds of vegetables including: squash, asparagus, carrots, broccoli, and cauliflower, not to mention he tried to eat the mushrooms.  
  
8:00 A.M.  
  
InuYasha has been successful, he is in Miroku's room drinking from two bottles, one is Sake, the other he believes is Sake but is in reality aftershave. Kagome is helping Sango pick out an outfit for her performance. Sesshoumaru is tearing about his room looking for something that can kill pimples. Naraku is running around the house picking up dirty clothes, old food, and other messes left by the rest of the cast. Kouga is in the backyard training Fred to do some tricks. Miroku is in the bathroom with the lights off and one lamp on, doing God only knows what. Shippou is writing on a piece of paper and chatting with Kikyou as she writes her poem. Jaken has completely torched the garden and is now smoking blades of grass. Over all the house is fairly quiet and peaceful.  
  
8:32 A.M.  
  
Miroku, Kagome, and Sango are starting a game of Twister. The game goes on pretty well for a while until Miroku must reach over Sango to touch a blue dot. Sango watches him closely, "Touch the blue dot! NOT me!" Miroku chuckles and is now positioned directly above Sango, if you didn't know they were playing Twister it would look rather inappropriate. Miroku starts to laugh at the way he is standing over Sango and falls on top of her. Sango screeches, "GET OFF OF ME!!!!!" Miroku chuckles and rolls off, and recieves a slap from Sango. Kagome sighs, "I should have known that Twister wasn't meant to be played by Miroku." She packs up the game and stores it in her room. InuYasha is busy yelling at a lamp, "YOU DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU DON'T KNOW! YOU'RE NOT COMING TO MY PARTY!" He turns around quickly and storms off while Miroku and Sango stare at him in shock. Sango mutters, "What doesn't the lamp know? What party?" Miroku shrugs, "All I want to know is why the hell do demons talk to inanimate objects?!" Sango laughs, "Now I wouldn't call Fred inanimate, it does move after all." Miroku snickers and they both start to watch "The Simpsons" on T.V. Miroku snickers and slowly scoots closer and closer to Sango. Sango feels him sit against her, "*AHEM!*" He chuckles, "Yeeeeeeessss?" She growls and walks away, but as she stands she feels a familiar hand grab her rear and she turns to slap him but he's up and has made his way behind the couch, "Hehe, come and get me!" He immaturely sticks his tongue out and Sango leaps over the couch and slaps his face. He rubs his cheek, "Oww...That was mean Sango..." He frowns and Sango flips her hair and walks off quickly before she's groped again. She goes off to her room to practice her talent. Miroku walks around for a few minutes looking for a certain meatball to torch. He gives up and goes to his room to work on his talent as well. Shippou is left in the living room and practices his talent, loud music comes from the boom box as Shippou keeps his voice low so he doesn't spoil his surprise talent. Shippou turns off the boom box and stops practicing because InuYasha walked through the living room. InuYasha has a fit and argues with the boom box for several mintes, "No no no no! I don't think so! What? You disagree?! Well, I know I'm right! I'M ALWAYS RIGHT! Don't talk back to me!! Don't you DARE use that tone of voice with me! I- ...How dare you say that! I am right! I know I'm right! You wanna take this outside?!" At this point Shippou has scurried out of the room before InuYasha decides to beat on him instead of the boom box. InuYasha huffs and puffs and storms outside. Kikyou floats around the house and through walls. She floats into the bathroom and comes out cackling, "OOOOOOOOOOOO! BIG HOO IS GONNA BE SO PISSED! HE'S GONNA KILL YOU!" Kagome runs out of the bathroom holding a plunger, behind her the toilet can be seen, water spilling over the edge and a pile of soggy pieces of paper floating around on the floor. Kagome whispers to Kikyou, "Keep it down, don't tell Big Hoo, please! I was just trying to ger rid of those papers, thats all!" Kikyou taunts Kagome, "Why should I listen to you?" Kagome sighs and blushes, "The papers were love letters to InuYasha, if you tell on me then InuYasha would find out about them, forget about you and come to me!" Kikyou considers this while twirling a dull butter knife in her hand, "You have a point there, Miss Imposter. I won't say anything then. I don't want to lose MY InuYasha." With a cold smile she floats away. Kagome sighs with relief and goes back to trying to get the letters down the toilet.  
  
10:03 A.M.  
  
Sesshoumaru is still in his room, he has found a pimple cure cream, but it takes five hours to kick in so he must wait until then to show his beautiful face to the others. Kouga has just finished reading "Little Red Riding Hood" to Fred. He decides to show everyone who the real "Big Bad Wolf" is. He hides behind a corner waiting for his first victim. Shippou is trotting down the hall and just as he reaches the end of it Kouga jumps in front of him and yells, "ALL THE BETTER TO EAT YOU WITH!!!" Shippou shrieks in fright and runs as fast as he can into Kagome's room while Kouga laughs to himself, "That's right! Run! I'm the big bad wolf!" Fred chuckles and nods in agreement. Kouga runs off to scare the hell out of the next unsuspecting victim. Kikyou floats out of bedroom 1d and gets ambushed by a wolf and a meatball, "ALL THE BETTER TO EAT YOU WITH!!!" Kikyou screams and throws her dull butter knife at Kouga, "Don't you DARE ever try to scare me again! You will sorely regret it if you do! Next time it won't be a dull butter knife!!" She floats off in a rage while Kouga rubs his forehead, where the knife hit him, "That really hurt...." Fred purrs in an attempt to comfort a wounded Kouga.  
  
10:30 A.M.  
  
Kagome walks out of the bathroom, after successfully getting the letters down the toilet. She walks into the dining room to find InuYasha arguing with a chair and clutching a bottle of Sake, "I TOLD YOU ALREADY! You spell phone with an "F" not "PH"! YOU STUPID MORON!!!" Kagome blinks, "InuYasha, that's a chair......Why are you arguing with a chair?" InuYasha turns, swaying slightly and yells, "HE QUESTIONED MY AUTHORITY!!" Kagome notices the bottle of Sake in his claws and she puts two and two together, "InuYasha give me that Sake, you make a really mean drunk, you shouldn't have anymore, it's dangerous to the household." InuYasha hugs the bottle, "IT'S MINE! MINE I TELL YOU! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!" Kagome stares at him and says simply, "Sit." InuYasha crashes to the floor and Kagome snatches the bottle away, she hurries off to hide it away from the hanyou. InuYasha jumps up, "That bi**h better give me back my Sake!" He chases after her but trips over Shippou, crashes into a wall and is knocked unconcious. Shippou squeaks and dives under a couch cushion. Miroku comes out of his room and sees InuYasha on the floor, out like a light. He drags the unconcious demon onto the couch, crushing an unfortunate kitsune, "EEP!" Shippou scurries out, wide eyed and panting, he runs outside and hides in a tree. Miroku watches Shippou and raises an eyebrow. Miroku freezes as he hears lethal hissing coming from a bookshelf, he turns around quickly and Fred dive bombs Miroku from the top shelf of the bookcase. The monk screams and grabs the monster meatball as it lands on his face, and throws it against a wall, "AHHH! GET AWAY FROM ME!" Sango comes running into the living room and sees: a monk who appears to have just suffered from a heart attack, an unconcious hanyou, and a growling meatball splattered on a wall. She just blinks and stares at it all with a blank expression on her face, "Do I even want to know what happened?" Miroku recovers slightly from his attack and points at Fred's splattered body, "Th-th-that THING attacked me!!" Sango looks at Fred, "You were attacked by.....a ball of meat?" Miroku nods, "I-i- i-it wants me dead!"  
  
11:12 A.M.  
  
Naraku is in the kitchen preparing some linguini and orange slices, he even sets aside some pieces of bread for Fred to eat. After the meatball attack Miroku has locked himself in his room and is currently "meatball proofing" it. Fred is still on the wall, slowly sliding down toward the floor. Kouga walks in and gasps, "FRED!! What happened to you, little buddy?!" He uses the butter knife from Kikyou to scrape Fred off the wall, he then squishes Fred back into a ball, "There ya go, Fred!" The little meatball purrs and hops onto Kouga's shoulder. Kouga pats Fred and sits in the dining room, waiting for some lunch. He picks up a knife and fork and begins to pound the table, "WE WANT FOOD! WE WANT FOOD!" Naraku pokes his head out of the kitchen, "Hush up wolf or I'm going to put you and that little wad of meat into the meat grinder!" Kouga shuts up, Fred squeaks in fear. Naraku smirks, "That's what I thought, now stay quiet! I'm almost done making lunch." He disappears back in the kitchen. Naraku is humming in the kitchen, Kouga is trying to teach Fred to bark at Miroku and InuYasha. Miroku strolls into the dining room, sees Fred and turns right back around, hurrying to his meatball proof room. Kagome, after hiding the Sake from InuYasha, comes in and takes a seat, watching Fred closely. InuYasha is still out cold on the couch, Kikyou is writing more for her poem while sitting on the T.V. Shippou now has a football helmet on, the helmet covers his whole body. The little kitsune is in fear of his life, he has been tripped over, terrified, and crushed already today and isn't going to take any more chances. Sango sits down by Kagome and starts chatting with her about The Migration of Birds. Jaken stays outside as usual, muttering about how, "This stupid house doesn't have any cigarettes...."  
  
12:06 P.M.  
  
Naraku serves the linguini and orange slices to the cast seated at the table, he then brings Miroku's plate to him in his room. The crew enjoy their meal, even Fred likes the bits of bread Naraku gave him. The meal is a success, everyone makes sure to eat all the food is eaten so there won't be another "Fred" made of linguini later in the week. Kagome sighs contentedly, "That was good!" The cast nod in agreement. Sango looks around, "Why don't we all play a game or something? I'm bored out of my mind." Yet again everyone nods in agreement. Shippou squeaks, "Can we play a safe game, like Hide n' Seek?" Kagome claps, "I love that game! I always play it with my little brother Sota! Hide n' Seek it is!" Sango volunteers to be it, "I'll be IT, the kitchen, mine and Kagome's room, and outside are off limits! Okay go hide!" Covers her eyes and starts counting, "One....two...three...four.." After about two minutes, "Ninety eight...ninety nine...one hundred! Here I come ready or not!" She looks around the living room, finding Naraku behind a chair and Shippou under the couch. She heads into Kouga and InuYasha's room to find Kagome in the closet, "Hehe found ya Kagome, now come out of that closet!" They both laugh and go to find the last two still hiding, Kouga and Fred. They search everywhere but have no luck. The others even pitch in to help yet still no wolf and meatball are found. Kagome sighs, "I give up, let's just watch T.V. Eventually Kouga will come out of hiding when he gets bored enough." The others agree and sit down on the floor to watch T.V., a still knocked out hanyou is on the couch.  
  
1:13 P.M.  
  
Miroku emerges from his room and heads into the kitchen for a snack. He opens a cabinet, hears snarling and yells, "F*CK! IT'S BACK!!!" Sango hurries into the kitchen, "What are you yelling about, monk?" Miroku points to the cabinet with a shakey hand and Sango peers in to find Fred growling and Kouga sleeping inside, "AI-YA! WOLF! I told you the kitchen was off limits!!" Kouga sits up and crashes into the shelf above him, "OW!" Sango smirks, "That's what you get for cheating!" She grabs Kouga's tail and pulls him out of the cabinet and into the living room. Kouga yelps, "HEY! That hurts! Let go of my tail!!" Fred rolls after Kouga, after growling one more time at Miroku. Naraku is about ready to have a heart attack, "YOU AND THAT MOLDY MEATBALL WERE IN MY DEAR SESSHOUMARU'S SPOTLESS KITCHEN?!?! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT'S GOING TO TAKE TO CLEAN OUT THAT CABINET?!" Naraku huffs and storms off to clean the kitchen while everyone stares at him in shock. Miroku decides to go to his meatball proof room for a nap, and the others eventually fall asleep on the floor one by one. Shippou, Jaken, Kikyou and Fred are the only ones left awake. Fred gurgles and wiggles happily as he watches "Cops" on T.V. Shippou watches Fred fearfully and scurries to the dining room. He returns seconds later with a chop stick. He silently sneaks up behind Fred and pokes him. Fred gurgles and hisses at Shippou. Shippou squeaks and jumps back, deciding it's best not to anger a fuzzy wad of two- day-old meat. He wanders off down the hall to the bathroom, where he falls asleep in the sink, clutching a bottle of Lysol to use as defense against Fred. Kouga is asleep in a tree outside, legs and arms dangling down. Kikyou is using a leaf to tickle Kouga's feet as he sleeps soundly, his feet twitch and he growls quietly, Kikyou giggles and continues. Kagome and Sango are sprawled on the living room floor, several objects are seen around the room such as: dice, cards, an empty M&M box, somebody's jacket and a light blue nail polish container. Naraku is still using disinfectant and antibiotics to clean the cupboard where the wolf and his friend had earlier seeked a hiding spot. Sesshoumaru is still sulking in his room but has now found a book called, "How to be Excepted in The World: A Book for Homosexuals" and has been reading it for the past fifteen minutes and hasn't put it down. Jaken is, take a guess, outside searching the remainder of the already-attempted-to-be-smoked garden for something to smoke. Fred has now discovered the girls and is watching Sango as she sleeps. He gurgles, hisses, wiggles and...breathes...heavily next to her, apparently he has grown very fond of her. Sango turns over and whines in her sleep, her hand landing on Fred. Fred starts purring and wiggling happily and Sango -thinking it's some sort of stuffed toy- pulls it close and cuddles it in her sleep.  
  
1:45 P.M.  
  
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!!! GET THIS FUZZY THING OFF ME!!!" Sango screeches and throws Fred, causing him to stick to the roof. "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!! THAT IS SO NASTY! THAT THING!! GROOOOOOOOSSS!!!!!" She screams, waking Kagome and Miroku. Kagome rubs her eyes, "Whaaa?" Sango pants, "Tha-that THING!" She points to the roof and shrieks. Miroku has come out of his room and is rubbing his eyes and looks up to where Sango is pointing, "I TOLD you it was evil! It wants to kill us all and win this game show itself!" He glares at the smushed meatball on the roof, who is now hissing and foaming. Sango moves quickly away, scared Fred will hop on her head and attack with some sort of Super-meatball attack...Miroku offers a hug to a frightened Sango, which, to everyone's shock, she accepts. Sango is wide eyed, shaking and she can't think of anything more horrifying. She buries her face in Miroku's shoulder before regaining her normal self, as she feels a hand on her bottom, and quickly pulls away, slaps him, "Pervert!" and walks off to her room. Miroku, despite his red cheek, is smiling, "She hugged me!" He dances off down the hall and has finally noticed that Sesshoumaru and Naraku's door is closed and has been closed all day. He goes and knocks on it, "Hello hello hello?" He hears a little girly scream from the other side. He tilts his head to the side and notices that Sesshoumaru hasn't been seen all day, "Sesshoumaru? Why haven't you come out?" He chuckles, "Having a bad hair day?" Sesshoumaru growls, "Leave me alone!" Miroku shrugs and decides to go back to his room before Fred decides to roll down the hall and attack him. He goes to his room and locks the door and goes and gets the box of magazines from under his bed...  
  
2:07 P.M.  
  
Sango is laying on her bed and writing in her journal, every so often taking her Miroku picture from under her picture and kissing it. Miroku is having alone time with his magazines. Sesshoumaru is still reading his book and checking his mirror every few minutes to see if his pimple is gone. Naraku is cleaning the living room, but ignores Fred. Fred is still stuck to the roof, and hissing angrily. Kouga is sleeping, mumbling every so often about asparagus, sunglasses, sea monsters or toilets. Kagome is sitting on the couch, by the passed out dog demon and watching him sleep. Shippou remains sleeping in the sink. Jaken is actually sleeping for once, he's in the garden and using a turnip as a pillow. Kikyou is sitting by the pool, watching ripples form, caused by the slight Autumn breeze.  
  
The house is quiet.  
  
The silence is broken when Fred falls off the roof and lands on an unexpecting Naraku, "Eeeeeeeeee!" He screams and runs in circles, swatting at the smelly meatball on his head, "Get it off! Get it off! It smells and it's ruining my hair!! Eeeeeeee!!!" He shakes his head and Fred falls on the ground. Naraku uses a broom to hit Fred outside as quickly as possible, Kagome, who has been witnessing this, is laughing her a*s off. She recieves a glare from Naraku, who storms off to take a quick shower.  
  
2:30 P.M.  
  
There is a quiet knock on the door and Kagome hurries to answer it. A small girl with black hair and a checkered kimono stands in the doorway, she waves and timidly says, "Hello, is this the Big Hoobamawatzit house?" Kagome nods and invites her in, "You're here to judge the contest, correct? What's your name?" The little girl looks up and smiles, "I'm Rin, it's a pleasure to meet you!" Kagome practically melts, "Awwwwww." She hurries and knocks on her own bedroom door, making sure Sango isn't changing or anything, Sango quickly shoves her Miroku picture under her pillow and yells, "Come in!" Kagome opens the door, "Our guest is here!" Kagome hurries around the house to gather the crew, she comes into the living room with Miroku, Shippou, and Naraku. She goes into the backyard and returns with Kikyou, Jaken, and a sleepy Kouga, Fred perched on his shoulder. The cast all sit around Rin and talk. Rin looks around, "Where is Sesshoumaru- sama?" Miroku snickers, "I think he is having a bad hair day, he is locked in his room." Rin nods, "Ahh. Oh yes Jaken I brought you something." She hands Jaken a box of cigarettes, Jaken snatches them and runs out of the room, "Thank you thank you thank you!" Kagome looks shocked, "Rin, where did you get cigarettes?" Rin grins, "Jaken forgot them at home so I brought them for him." Rin gets up and heads toward Sesshoumaru's room, easy for her to find thanks to the bright pink sign on the door. She knocks on the door, "Sesshoumaru-sama? Why won't you come out?" Sesshoumaru calls from inside with a sing-song voice, "I'll be out in half an hour, Rin- honey!" Rin nods, "Okie dokies!" She skips down the hall and back into the living room, "Sesshy-sama says he be out in half an hour everybodies!" Kagome and Sango say in unison, "Awwwwwww! She's soooo cute!" Miroku wraps his arm around Sango, "Yes she is quite adorable! We could have one of our very own if you'd like." Sango growls and walks away from the lecherous monk. The cast start to set up the "stage" for the talent show, they push two tables together and put a blue bedsheet over it. Sango and Kagome get some Christmas lights, tinsel, and other decorations for the stage. Miroku sets up the lighting, and Naraku starts to make some snacks and drinks. InuYasha is still passed out on the couch. Jaken is outside smoking two cigarettes at once. Sesshoumaru emerges from his room at 3:00 completely pimple free.  
  
3:00 P.M.  
  
Big Hoo comes on, "Okay everybody! It's time for the talent show! First up will be Kagome! Have fun everyone!" Kagome runs into her room and comes out ten minutes later in a red and white cheerleading outfit holding pompoms. Miroku restrains against making any comments but whispers to Sango, "Poor InuYasha is passed out, he doesn't get to see his girl friend in a cheer leading outfit, he's gonna be upset!" Sango giggles and tells Miroku to be quiet. Kagome goes out on the stage and takes a deep breath. Rin has a note pad in her hand to keep score. Kagome spends a few minutes jumping around and saying some cheers. Then she does a quick five minute performance to her own mixed tape. When she's done she bows, the crew applauds, except Kikyou. Kouga howls, "That's MY woman!! You go girl!" Big Hoo comes back, "Nice nice! Very nice! Good job! Okay, Rin you got the score?" Rin nods.  
  
Big Hoo continues, "Next up is Kouga!" Kouga hurries on stage with several tiny hoops, matches, and a mini trampoline(no one is quite sure where he got these items, probably a trash can). He sets up a few hoops and sets a few on fire, he puts Fred on the trampoline. Fred bounces on the trampoline and hops through the first hoop, he bounces through several hoops and reaches the a row of three flaming hoops. Fred looks tense and hops through the first two okay, then when he jumps trough the last one he catches fire! Kouga screams, "Fred!!!!" Everyone is laughing, even Kikyou. Kouga grabs Fred and tosses him in someone's lemonade. Fred gurgles and hops out of the lemonade, rolls over to Kouga where he is scooped up and comforted by a very worried wolf. Rin scribbles something on her paper and the cast has finally stopped laughing, except Miroku, who is now in tears and barely breathing because he's laughing so hard. Big Hoo comes back on, "Ooooookay then. That was...odd. Anyway, next, Sango!" Miroku stops laughing and whispers, "Good luck!" to Sango, who looks very nervous. Sango walks over and puts her tape in the boom box and turns it on, she stands on the table and holds the microphone. She taps her foot as she waits for the music to get to the part where she starts singing. The part finally comes up and she starts singing, with a beautiful voice,  
  
"When I first saw you I saw love  
  
And the first time you touched me I felt love  
  
And after all this time you're still the one I love  
  
Looks like we made it Look how far we've come my baby  
  
We mighta took the long way We knew we'd get there someday  
  
They said I bet they'll never make it  
  
But just look at us holding on  
  
We're still together still going strong  
  
(You're Still The One) You're Still The One I run to  
  
The one that I belong to  
  
You're Still The One I want for life  
  
(You're Still The One) You're Still The One that I love  
  
The only one I dream of You're Still The One I kiss good night  
  
Ain't nothin' better We beat the odds together  
  
I'm glad we didn't listen Look at what we would be missin'  
  
(You're Still The One) You're Still The One I run to  
  
The one that I belong to  
  
You're Still The One I want for life  
  
(You're Still The One) You're Still The One that I love  
  
The only one I dream of You're Still The One I kiss good night  
  
You're Still The One  
  
(You're Still The One) You're Still The One I run to  
  
The one that I belong to  
  
You're Still The One I want for life  
  
(You're Still The One) You're Still The One that I love  
  
The only one I dream of You're Still The One I kiss good night  
  
I'm so glad we made it  
  
Look how far we've come my baby" She finishes and smiles. Miroku claps loudly, "YEEEEEEAH! GO SANGO!!! That was awesome! Encore! Encore!" Everyone else claps and Rin scribbles down something. Sango blushes and looks relieved as she hops off the stage and takes a seat. Big Hoo comes back, "Very nice! Good job, Sango! Alright then, next up is Kikyou!" Everyone looks hesitant as Kikyou takes her place on the stage with a paper in her hand. She starts, " *ahem* Ways to Kill Yourself, by Kikyou.  
  
You can die by a drug overdose,  
  
You can hang yourself by a garden hose,  
  
You can slaughter yourself with a butcher knife,  
  
Or, you can piss off your PMSing wife,  
  
You can put a gun to your head and pull the trigger,  
  
Or go up to a big black guy and say, "What up ni**er?!"  
  
To you all these seem like an abomination,  
  
They should all be tried by my reincarnation!"  
  
Everyone stares with blank expressions on their faces. Kikyou smirks and floats off. Rin writes down a few notes and waits for Big Hoo to say who's next. Big Hoo finally talks and breaks the errie silence, "Well...that was...uuhh...interesting...Umm...Shippou's next!" A few heads look around for Shippou, who is no where to be seen, "Where he go?" Rin ponders out loud. Shippou comes nervously from behind the couch, dressed in baggy jeans, a leather vest, sunglasses, and heavy gold chains around his neck. Everyone stares, slightly amused and awaits his performance. Shippou places a reddish colored CD with the writing "The Eminem Show" The cast stare on in shock, not sure exactly what Shippou has planned. The music starts, the little kitsune starts rapping to "White America":  
  
"Yo', I want everybody to listen to the words of this song, I never would've dreamed in a  
  
million years i'd see, so many motherf**kin-" Shippou is cut off when Kagome grabs the back of his shirt and carries him down the hall lecturing him on the use of improper language. Miroku turns off the boom box. Big Hoo speaks, "Uhh, I guess that disqualifies him. Next up is Jaken!" Jaken hops onto the stage and lights a cigarette. He stands up there for five minutes blowing smoke rings, causing the cast to cough and gag. Sango comes up behind the toad and boots him off the stage and out the back door, everyone cheers. Big Hoo talks, "Well, uhh...that was...uhh...different. Does that count as a talent? Oh well, Miroku you're next!" Miroku turns out the lights, Sango mutters, "You touch me you die!" Miroku chuckles, "I wasn't gonna!" A small light is turned on, the wall is illuminated. Miroku starts to act out a story using his hands to make shadow bunnies, dogs, and spiders. After about fifteen minutes the little shadow bunny hops around in the circle of light, then he finally finishes. The cast applaude, and Miroku takes a bow, "Thank you! Thank you very much!" All the lights are turned back on and Miroku takes his seat. Big Hoo clears his throat, "Very good Miroku! Okay the last talent to be presented will be by Sesshoumaru and Naraku." The mentioned demons jumps up and hurry to the stage. Naraku turns to the crew, "Well, for our talent we are going to give someone a make over, who wants to be our volunteer?" Miroku and Kouga immediately hide behind the couch, Sango becomes completely absorbed in how beautiful the carpet is, Kagome is still in her room lecturing Shippou, and Kikyou has floated into the backyard with Jaken. Naraku looks around sadly, then notices InuYasha, still sleeping on the couch, "Aha! InuYasha will do perfectly!" Sesshoumaru hurries over to the snoozing hanyou and opens his make up case. Miroku and Kouga, watching from behind the couch, start to laugh as Sesshoumaru starts applying the make up. Sango gasps and falls off the couch in shock. Sesshoumaru finishes and moves away from InuYasha, "TA DA!" Kouga and Miroku take one look at InuYasha's face and burst out laughing, falling to the floor. Miroku has tears running down his face as he tries to control himself, and Kouga is turning blue from lack of air. Sango stares at InuYasha with her mouth hanging open, "Oh my God!" Naraku and Sesshoumaru look pleased. Laughing is heard from hidden speakers as Big Hoo tries to control himself, "Uhh....very good Sesshoumaru and Naraku! HAHAHA! InuYasha will...uhh...really like what you did! HAHAHAHA! Okay, that wraps up the talent show! Rin will declare who she thinks is the winner. Oh yes, I was supposed to give InuYasha a punishment for not participating, but the make up is enough of a punishment for him!" Big Hoo disconnects.  
  
4:16 P.M.  
  
Everyone has finally stopped laughing, and Rin is deciding on who will win the prize of extra food. The cast wait patiently for the decision. Rin clears her throat, "*AHEM* Rin thinks the winner is...Miroku, for his cute wittle bunny shadow!" Miroku hops up on the stage and takes a bow, "I would like to thank my mom, and the lamp that provided the light for my show, without them I could never have won this contest..." He continues his speech for a few more minutes until Kouga gets fed up with it. The wolf slams his arms on the edge of the table causing it to flip up and throw Miroku across the room. Sango laughs, "I didn't know monks could fly!" Miroku is knocked out after hitting the wall. Kikyou claps and Kouga hops onto the table and takes a bow, imitating Miroku. Sango gives him a cold glare, "Don't push your luck wolf or you just might learn that wolves can fly too!" Kouga jumps off the stage immediately and sits down on the floor. Sango smirks, "Good boy!" Rin announces that she has to go and recieves a hug from everyone. Miroku's supply of food is brought to his room and left by his bed.  
  
Sesshoumaru scuttles into the kitchen to make some dinner, chilidogs. Naraku is cleaning up the stage, untouched snacks, and lemonade. Kagome, is singing loudly in the shower. Sango and Kouga are playing dice, Kouga gets up and quits the game because, "The dice don't like me!" Shippou is sleeping on a shelf, InuYasha is still on the couch, and Miroku is left on the floor where he landed.  
  
4:34 P.M.  
  
Sesshoumaru comes out with a plate full of chilidogs, "DINNER TIME!" The cast, including Miroku, who has woken up, hurry into the dining room and take their seats. Kouga sniffs at the chilidogs, "I'm not eating this! I don't eat anything to do with dogs!" Sesshoumaru gives the wolf a cold glare, "Fine, don't eat! See if I care! This is the only food you'll get tonight, so eat it or go hungry." The others eat their chilidogs happily while Kouga stares at his. Miroku snatches Kouga's food and eats it, "Mmmm good! I love chilidogs! They're my favorite!" The monk grins as Kouga storms out of the dining room mumbling, "Stupid thief, I was gonna eat that later." The crew finish their dinner, other than Miroku who is still stuffing his face with chilidogs, and go out into the living room to find InuYasha is up and glaring at a wolf youkai, who is on the floor laughing. The hanyou is seriously pissed, "What the hell is so damn funny wolf?! Why are you laughing?!" Kouga is trying to catch his breath, but failing miserably. Miroku comes out after eating several chilidogs and sees InuYasha and falls on the ground laughing. InuYasha looks around at the crew, who haven't ceased to laugh, even Kikyou is rolling with laughter. InuYasha runs his hands over his hair to see if maybe his hair is a mess but finds that it isn't. He growls furiously and jumps up, races to the bathroom and a howl that can only be described as pure hatred is heard from the bathroom. Sesshoumaru and Naraku hold their sides as they giggle harder, they run to the kitchen to avoid the angered hanyou as long as possible. He storms out, "Who the hell did this!? I can't believe you would let them do this to me!! I HATE YOU ALL!" He storms off and slams the bathroom door. The crew laugh more, everyone of them in tears and gasping for breath. InuYasha scrubs his face with a wash towel, only succeeding in smearing the make-up across his face and into his eyes, "Owwww!" He splashes water on his face which causes the make-up to run, "Why won't it come off?!" He scrubs using a nail brush, which works better than anything else but leaves his face pink and red from the rough bristles. He comes out and walks to his room, where he sulks in his closet and no one sees him for the rest of the night.  
  
5:43 P.M.  
  
The cast are lounging on the couch, about every fifteen minutes Miroku goes and gets another cold chilidog. Kouga is in the corner, where he yells at his stomach for growling. Sango is eating some candy that Miroku gave her from his extra supply of food. Kagome is watching some fashion show, Naraku and Sesshoumaru keep laughing and telling the T.V. how their ideas really suck. Fred is on the ceiling fan, stalking Miroku and watching Sango. Shippou is on a book shelf attempting to knock Fred down by throwing books, which he fails and the books only fall on the ground or barely miss hitting other members of the cast. Big Hoo suddenly talks, "'Ello! How's everyone? Don't answer that, I don't care. I only came to remind you that everyone, 'cept the monk, still has compliments to give out! Haaaaaave fun! Toodle doo!" Several cast members roll their eyes and decide to avoid punishment and just get the compliments over with. InuYasha, who is still in the closet with a sore face, tells the wall how nice it is and thanks it for allowing him shelter, then drifts off to sleep. Sango mumbles something about Miroku's hair and and eyes but Miroku doesn't hear her. Kagome tells Sesshoumaru that you can't notice the pimple or his greasy hair, and tells him his cooking has improved and mumbles about how it hasn't moved in two days. Sesshoumaru's eyes tear up and he is quickly comforted with a flood of compliments from Naraku, which he returns very willingly. Jaken is outside complimenting and thanking his cigarettes. Kikyou compliments a mirror because she doesn't know where InuYasha is. Shippou tells Kagome that she's really nice and he likes sleeping with her. Miroku chuckles, "Thatta boy!" Kagome glares at him very very coldly, "He's a kid for Christ's sake! He doesn't know the meaning of that phrase!" Shippou tilts his head sideways, "Kagome, what phrase?" Kagome pats him on the head, "Nothing. Just forget we said anything!" Shippou shrugs and goes off down the hall to his room to retrieve some candy. Kouga is in the corner complimenting a lamp as Fred glares menacingly at the lamp.  
  
6:45 P.M.  
  
The cast go outside to play a game, "Keep Away". Kagome runs and grabs Jaken's cigarettes from him. He growls, "Give those back, wench!" He swipes his grubby little paws at the box but Kagome is much taller and holds the cigarette box away from him. He bites her leg and she almost drops the box, but not before tossing it to Sango. Jaken hisses and waddles to Sango, "Gimme those! Now!" She laughs and tosses the box to Shippou. Shippou squeaks, "Eeep!" Jaken tackles the little fox, the box goes rolling over by a tree, where Miroku grabs it up. Jaken growls angrily, "Stop! Give my cigs back! Damn you all!" Miroku chuckles and tosses the box to no one and they land on the ground. Jaken waddles quickly to grab them, but he is too slow and a whirlwind races by and the box is gone, the whirlwind stops and Kouga is standing there waving a little box in the air, "Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!" He laughs and Jaken runs at him, "Please wolf! Give them back to me!!!!!" Kouga considers it and goes to hand the box to Jaken. The toad sighs with relief and goes to grab his cigarettes, but only grabs air as Kouga pulls the box away and throws it to Kikyou, it goes through Kikyou and falls in the pool. Jaken twitches, "You...I....Why....GAAAAAAAAH!!!! Why me?!?!" He storms off to sulk in the sideyard by the trashcans. Everyone enjoys a good laugh, no one feels even the slightest bit guilty as they slowly walk back inside and call it a night.  
  
8:00 P.M.  
  
The crew slowly wander to their rooms, other than Sango. Sango has turned on the boom box and is listening to Evanescence. Miroku comes down the hall and hops on the table and starts dancing, Sango rolls her eyes and watches him, pretending to be mad but she can't hold back her giggles. Miroku attempts to sing along but stutters and fumbles with the words, causing Sango to giggle more. He chuckles and stops, looking at Sango with a sweet smile on his face, he hops down and sits next to her. She smiles sweetly at him and he leans close to her. She waits for the his hand on her leg or chest so she can slap him and stop him from leaning closer. He is right infront of her face and closing his eyes and a fuzzy, green lump hops on Sango's head. She screeches and jumps up, "GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!!!!" Miroku looks hurt and then sees the meatball on her head and swats it off, "What is your problem?!" He yells at the hissing wad of meat. It gurgles and rolls off to find Kouga, Sango quickly trots off to take a shower muttering, "Ewwww ew ew!! Grooooss!" Miroku shakes his head and mumbles bad words under his breath about evil meatballs. He goes to his room and kicks Shippou out so he can sulk and stare at his Sango pictures. Shippou squeaks and goes to the living room, where he uses the T.V. as a bed.  
  
9:00 P.M.  
  
Jaken has been attempting to fish his cigarettes out of the pool for about an hour now. The reason he hasn't just jumed in the pool is because it's freezing cold. He finally manages to scoop out a water logged box and there are few remaining cigarettes which Jaken sets down to dry. The cast is sleeping quietly, other than Fred who is gurgling loudly in his slumber and Sesshoumaru who is waiting til morning(12:01) to take a shower.  
  
11:34 P.M.  
  
InuYasha is asleep in the closet using a pair of shoes as a pillow and hugging a stuffed pink bunny. Miroku is fidgeting in his bed having happy dreams about Sango that keep getting interupted by devilish meatballs. Sango is lying awake staring at the ceiling thinking about almost kissing Miroku. Kagome is sound asleep, snoring quietly. Shippou is sleeping on the T.V. Naraku is sleeping with an avacado cream on his face and cucumbers on his eyes. Sesshoumaru is constantly checking the clock, waiting until 12:01. Jaken is asleep, hugging his precious cigarettes. Kouga is sleeping in his pile of blankets, hugging Fred. Kikyou is sitting on a tree branch, her legs dangling down.  
  
12:01 A.M.  
  
Sesshoumaru is in the shower, washing his beautiful hair and singing to Ricky Martin.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Author Note: I hope you enjoy this! There shall be more soon -A few days, maybe one. Disclaimer: We own nothing! Nothing at all! Okay? So stop pestering us! Credit: We give credit to "The Fluffy Mag" for the idea of this fic! 


	4. ThursadayWeek1

Big Hoobamawatzit  
  
Thursday  
  
7:24 A.M.  
  
The cast is woken by the scent of eggs, bacon, ham, sausage, and pancakes. Sesshoumaru, being in a good mood after a nice shower, woke up early and made everyone a nice breakfast. The crew scramble into the kitchen and take their seats. Sesshoumaru sets several trays of a varity of foods on the table then passes out plates and silver ware. Sango immediately grabs several pieces of sausage, "Yay! I love sausage!!" Miroku smirks and mumbles something but no one hears him. Sango grabs a few other items of food and starts stuffing her face. The other members cover their plates in food then begin eating. InuYasha is the first to finish, and quickly gets seconds. Sango finishes and grabs more sausage. Shippou is getting all sticky in syrup and Kagome is trying to wipe it off with a napkin. Sesshoumaru is watching happily, glad they like his food. Kouga is wearing a pancake as a hat, has put two Sunny-side-up eggs on his eyes and has bacon in his mouth like fangs. He runs around the table making grunting noises and trying to scare everyone. Miroku sticks his foot out and trips Kouga, the food that Kouga had as a costume falls on the floor and the wolf eats it off the ground. Everyone is happily eating and having a pleasant conversation about The Hunting Techniques of Felines. Kouga is still on the floor, feeding Fred some sausage, "Look everyone! He's a cannibal! Ahaha!"  
  
8:15 A.M.  
  
The cast has wandered out to the living room, everyone still wearing their PJs. Kagome takes Shippou in the bathroom for a bath. InuYasha turns on the T.V. and puts on a boxing match. He sits right in front of the T.V. and watches closely. Sango rolls her eyes, "InuYasha, we can't see, and it's not good for your eyes to sit that close to the television." InuYasha turns around, "My eyes are fine, Feh!" He ignores her request and continues watching T.V. Kouga has let Fred wander freely around the house, because the wolf wants to go back to sleep. Miroku is watching Fred wearily as the hissing meatball makes its way through the living room. Miroku gets an idea, "Let's go swimming!" The crew look at him and a few mutter about how cold it would be and Miroku tells them the pool is heated, the crew(other than Kikyou and Jaken) scurry off to get changed.  
  
8:30 A.M.  
  
Kouga is the first out, wearing dark blue swim trunks. Kagome comes out next and sets her towel on a bench, she's wearing a one-piece light green bathig suit. Kouga tries not to stare as he hesitates to get in the water. Kagome steps in slowly and swims around, "Kouga come in! The water is great!" Kouga smiles and steps in further and he stays in the shallow end, InuYasha walks out in red swim trunks and Cannonballs in, splashing the hesitant wolf. Shippou scurries out wearing green swim trunks and two bright orange floating devices on his arms. Sesshoumaru and Naraku scurry outside with towels on. They set their towels on a bench, they're wearing matching swim suits- sparkly, hot pink bikinis. Kagome and InuYasha shudder, and Kouga stares in shock. Sesshoumaru and Naraku giggle and make their way over to the large pool and sit with their feet in the water. Sango comes out, a nervous look on her face and wrapped in a towel. She glances around and sighs with relief because she doesn't see Miroku, she sets her towel on a bench, she's wearing a light blue bikini that reveals a generous amount of skin. Kagome mumbles something about her wanting Miroku's attention and dives under the water. Sango quickly dives in, knowing Miroku will be out soon. Miroku walks out with a towel around his waist. The crew look at him and wonder why he has the towel on. He opens the towel to reveal a speedo. The crews eyes go wide and they burst into laughter. Miroku walks over and cannonballs in. He comes back up, his face strangely red. Kouga points and laughs, "The monk's speedo came off!" Everyone looks at the little swimsuit floating on the water and they start laughing again. Miroku quickly grabs his swim suit and hops out of the pool and runs to grab his towel. Sango is the only cast member that hasn't stopped laughing. Miroku runs inside with his towel wrapped around him and a very red face. Kagome grabs a beach ball, Kouga and InuYasha set up a volleyball net and the crew split in teams to play Volleyball. Miroku comes back out wearing a normal pair of swim trunks and joins the game. The teams are Kouga, Sesshoumaru, Naraku and Shippou against Miroku, Sango, InuYasha and Kagome. After about ten minutes the game is over and Kouga has a fit, "It's not fair! Sesshoumaru and Naraku are pansies and can't play, they're afraid of the damn ball!! Shippou is too little to hit the ball! I was the only one who could play! That game wasn't fair at all!" He leaves the pool. The crew bring in a few floating devices and water toys and have fun for a while. Sesshoumaru and Naraku get out of the pool from the excessive splashing and lay on the lawn to get a tan, despite the fact it's about 9 o'clock, cloudy and there's no sun...  
  
10:00 A.M.  
  
The cast have wandered to their rooms and they're changing to normal clothes. Loud banging and yelling is heard from InuYasha's room. Miroku and Kagome walk over and see the dog pounding his head against the wall. Kagome runs over and taps his shoulder, "InuYasha! What's the matter?" Miroku lifts an eyebrow at him. InuYasha growls and points to his bed, it is neatly made with light pink bed sheets, a comforter with pale flowers on it, fuzzy stuffed toys are placed neatly at the top of the bed, and Ricky Martin pictures are hung on the wall, even Kouga's messy pile of blankets and pillows in the corner had been folded up and stacked neatly. Sesshoumaru and Naraku had come in from "tanning" early and done this. Miroku tries so hard not to laugh, but can't help it and bursts out laughing, he recieves a nasty glare from InuYasha. Miroku runs to his room laughing. InuYasha storms down the hall to Sesshoumaru and Naraku's room, where Ricky Martin plays loudly inside. InuYasha knocks softly on the door. Sesshoumaru opens it quickly, thinking it's one of the girls, "Hello Darli- ..." He stops when he sees the look on InuYasha face and squeals in fright. InuYasha lunges at him, "YOU F*CKING PANSY! HOW DARE YOU DESTROY MY BED!" InuYasha wraps his sharp claws around Sesshoumaru's recently lotioned neck and squeezes tight. Naraku throws his hands in the air and screeches, "Stop that! Please stop! Oh dear Oh dear!" Naraku looks around frantically and throws the closest thing he can find -some facial powder- in InuYasha's eyes. InuYasha howls and falls back with his hands over his eyes. "GYYYAAAHH!!! WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT???!!!!!" His eyes begin to tear as Sesshoumaru scrambles to Naraku for safety. InuYasha runs out of the room screaming. He runs to the bathroom and pounds on the door, "I NEED IN NOW! MY EYES! THEY'RE BUUUURRRRRRNNNINGGG!!!" InuYasha hears a squeak and some rustling of paper. Shippou scrambles out and is holding some unidentified paper object in his hand. Shippou races to bathroom 2b. InuYasha dives to the sink and sticks his head under a running faucet. "IT BURRRRRNS! OH MY F*CKING GOD!!!! IT BURNS LIKE A MOTHER F*CKER!!!!!!"  
  
10: 30 A.M.  
  
Sango and Kouga are sitting in front of the TV playing a fighting game, Kouga is struggling to figure out how to use all the buttons on the controller and is losing horribly to Sango, who is laughing maniacally as she defeats the wolf one round after the other. InuYasha is sitting on the couch with a pack of ice on his swollen, red eyes. Kagome is sitting by him asking every five minutes if it feels better. InuYasha is gurgling, grumbling and whining about how much it hurts. Big Hoo has decided to call a doctor to examine his eyes. Kikyou raises an eyebrow, "If that doctor gives him a physical I'll take them to Hell!" She growls at Big Hoo. Sesshoumaru and Naraku are in "La-La-Land" as they braid each other's hair in their room. InuYasha's lap has become wet from the dripping of the ice and Shippou giggles, "Look! InuYasha peed his pants!" Shippou snickers and is whacked on the back of his little head by Kagome. Shippou glances around, spots Miroku, and -for some unknown reason- runs to his room...and locks the door? Miroku asks InuYasha to move the ice so he can see how bad it is. InuYasha shakes his head, "The doctor can do it! Leave me alone!" There's a knock on the door and Kagome runs and answers it. A middle-aged nurse with two pink loops of hair and a small emergency kit is standing there. Kagome smiles, "Hello!" The nurse smiles politely back, "Hi! I'm Nurse Joy, is this the Big Hoo house?" Kagome nods and quickly brings her to where InuYasha is on the couch. Nurse Joy takes one look at the demon and clucks her tongue, "What happened?" Sango explains it all to the nurse quickly without looking away from the game, suddenly she jumps up and dances around "Thats 100 losses and 0 wins for you Kouga! I am the master!! Bow down to the almighty Sango-sama!" Miroku bows to her while Kouga gives the game a cold stare and proceeds to gnaw the TV's remote control. Nurse Joy looks nervously at Sango and the wolf, then turns her attention back to the hanyou, "Okay, InuYasha is it? Come with me, I'll take a look at your eyes and see what I can do." She walks down the hall and into InuYasha's room, the dog follows but bumps into a wall along the way. Kagome sits down on the couch and tries to comfort Kouga, who is now pouting after his horrible losing streak, and complaining about getting a piece of plastic stuck in his mouth from the remote. Sango is still playing the game, destroying her new victim, Miroku.  
  
11:37 A.M.  
  
Nurse Joy and InuYasha have been in the bedroom for a long time now, Kagome is getting worried that something is wrong with InuYasha. Miroku has been defeated by Sango and is now talking with Kouga, both trying to figure out a way to beat Sango. No one else is willing to play the game with Sango so she has now started the one player mode, growling at the computer-players every few minutes and making the rest of the cast nervous. A few minutes later Nurse Joy emerges with InuYasha, his eyes looking perfectly normal. Kagome gets up and hurries over to the hanyou, "You're okay! That's great!" Nurse Joy smiles, "I only needed to wash the powder out. It took about two minutes." Kagome blinks in confusion, "Then why were you in there for nearly an hour?" InuYasha blushes and hurries over to the couch and pretends to be interested in the video game. Nurse Joy chuckles softly, "Well, you see he had a few questions about his conplimcated love life. I may be a nurse, but I'm also a therapist too." The cheery nurse waves goodbye and leaves the house while Kagome stands there staring at the wall. The house is fairly quiet, the only noises heard are Sango's growls, and Miroku and Kouga's conversation.  
  
12:14 P.M.  
  
Sesshoumaru pokes his head out of his room, looking around cautiously for his brother. Naraku whispers behind him, "Is he out there, Sesshy-pumpkin pie?" Sesshoumaru shakes his head and the two quickly tiptoe down the hall and into the kitchen to prepare lunch. Sango is still playing the game, completely entranced, oblivious to the world. InuYasha is playing checkers with Kagome in the doorless room. Miroku is lounging on the couch, frowning each time his stomach growls. Kouga is sitting in a corner talking to Fred about Squirrels, Hamsters, and Lizards. Shippou is still locked in bathroom 2b, doing Lord knows what. Kikyou has put a poster of Kagome on the wall and is throwing darts, daggers, sporks, spoons, and paperclips at the picture. Jaken is swimming laps in the pool, reminiscing about his days as a tadpole.  
  
12:48 P.M.  
  
Sesshoumaru hollers to the crew, "Luuuuuuuuuunnnnnnch tiiiiiiiiiiiiiimmmmmme! Come and get iiiiiiit!" The crew scramble into the kitchen and take their seats, excluding Sango, Shippou and Jaken. Sesshoumaru sets a tray on the table, the tray includes the following: Tortillas, taco shells, spanish rice, hamburger meat, refried beans, tomatoes, lettuce, sour cream, salsa, and cheese. Kouga's eyes light up, "Tacos!! Yay!" Kouga quickly grabs a plate and makes an oversized taco and runs to a corner of the kitchen. Kouga takes a bite of his taco and all the insides of the taco fall on his plate, he shrugs and eats it off. The rest of the crew take a tortilla and fill it with their choice of food and enjoy their meal. Kouga feeds Fred some meat, "Hehe, my little cannibal!" Sesshoumaru frowns, "Someone is missing..." Miroku swallows his food, "SANGO!" Miroku looks around frantically, "SANGOOOOO!?" Sango pauses her game and yells, "What you want?! I'm busy!" Miroku yells back, "Food is ready!" Sango shrugs and un-pauses her game, "I'm skipping lunch!" Seshoumaru giggles, "We all know she can stand to miss a meal!" Sango hears him, bursts into tears, drops her controller, runs to her room, slams the door, locks it, and cries on her bed. Miroku twitches and looks at Sesshoumaru with pure hatred, "....What did you say, Pansy boy?" Sesshoumaru looks at him, "I simply said she's fat." The rest of the cast move several feet away from the angered monk. Miroku huffs, puffs and stands up quickly, knocking the table over. He walks over to Sesshoumaru, "You....You....You f*cking pansy!" Miroku swings and punches Sesshoumaru in the face, Sesshoumaru falls to the ground. Miroku jumps on Sesshoumaru and starts beating the living Hell out of him. The crew is stunned and wide eyed, not used to seeing the mild mannered monk lose his temper. InuYasha is the first to snap back to his senses, and because he's still mad at Sesshoumaru he joins in the with Miroku and helps with the beating of Sesshoumaru. Naraku is squealing and hitting Miroku with a broom, "Get off of my Sesshy!! Eeeee! Stop! Stop it now!" Sesshoumaru is crying and trying to shield his face from the ruthless punches. Naraku turns the broom around and beats InuYasha with the wooden end, finally managing to stop the angry hanyou. Kagome is standing in total shock. Kouga, wanting to join in the fun and remembering when Sesshoumaru and Naraku forced him to sleep outside, tackles Naraku into the refrigerator. Kouga shoves Naraku on the ground and grabs a chair, he raises it above himself and breaks it over Naraku's head. Kagome finally comes to her senses and pulls Miroku off of the bruised, crying, and bloody Sesshoumaru. She stomps over to Kouga and slaps him across the face, "STOP!" Everyone freezes, then quickly Naraku and Sesshoumaru run to their room in tears. Miroku rubs his knuckles and goes to Sango's bedroom door and knocks on it. Sango, surprisingly, lets him in and, even more surprisingly, she closes and locks the door. InuYasha helps Kagome clean up the mess -the over turned table, the splinters from the chair and Sesshoumaru's blood. Kouga runs off outside to chat with Fred and Jaken. Kikyou is floating around and writing in her notebook about more ways too die. Shippou has come out of the bathroom and wanders into the kitchen, "What...happened?" Kagome explains and Shippou growls, "I can't believe I missed that!" Kagome looks at him suspiciously, "Where...exactly were you...?" Shippou blushes and looks at the ground, "I...er...I wasn't doing anything! Stop accusing me! Jeez!" He runs off to his room. Kagome blinks, "What the...?" InuYasha raises an eyebrow, "That little twirp is up to something..." Kagome nods in agreement, "No doubt about that..." They shrug and finish cleaning the kitchen, then go to the living room to watch "Powerpuff Girls".  
  
1:27 P.M.  
  
The house is completely silent until a loud scream comes from the bathroom, "GET OUT! GET OUT YOU DAMN PERVERT!!!!" Miroku runs out of the bathroom covering his head, "It was an accident! I didn't mean to do that! Sorry sorry!!" Sango comes out in a towel, holding a bottle of shampoo, "YOU ARE SO DEAD MONK! I SWEAR I WILL RIP YOUR HEAD OFF THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU!!!!" She hurries back into the bathroom and slams the door shut. Miroku peeks out from his hiding spot behind Kouga, who is in shock from seeing Sango in nothing but a towel. Kouga comes to his senses and turns to Miroku, "Haha! She's gonna kill you! I can't wait to see that!" Miroku frowns and walks away, followed closely by a wolf taunting him. Big Hoo speaks suddenly, startling everyone, "Hey everybody! Don't you forget your daily compliments! And remember that later today is confession cam and eviction voting!" Kouga yells in the direction of Big Hoo's voice, "What's confession cam? And eviction voting?" The rest of the cast nod in agreement. A loud sigh can be heard from Big Hoo, "Confession cam is when you go and talk to a camera and confess how you feel about living here. Eviction voting is when you vote for the two people you want to leave most! The first one you vote for gets two points, the second gets one. I add up the votes and then we have our evictee! It's that easy." Kouga simply says, "Oh." The wolf is completely confused, there were far too many big words in Big Hoo's explaination. Big Hoo seems to have read Kouga's mind and sighs, "Plain and simple: You talk about being here and you get to pick who gets to go Bye-Bye!" The wolf nods, "Got it." Miroku all the while is snickering, "Someone needs to go to school." Kouga shoots the monk a deadly look and walks off to his room. Everyone else heads off to do whatever it is they do. Miroku yells to the bathroom door two inappropriate compliments about how nice Sango's body is, the door opens to his surprise and he walks up eagerly. Sango steps out and to his dismay she is armed with a plunger. The monk turns and flees to his room. Sango laughs coldly and wanders into the living room to play more video games.  
  
3:21 P.M.  
  
Sango is biting her tongue as she plays the last level of her game, growling furiously. InuYasha is digging large holes in the backyard for absolutely no reason. Kagome is reading a romance novel in her room, sighing wistfully. Miroku is wandering around the house avoiding both Sango and Fred, who is under the couch attacking dust bunnies. Kikyou is in the dining room sitting in the chandelier, laughing coldly as Naraku pokes at her with a broom, trying to knock her off. Sesshoumaru is outside nancing around like an elf and picking flowers while Jaken watches in disgust. Shippou has yet again locked himself in the bathroom, where rustling paper can be heard. Kouga has attempted to read the books on the bookshelf, but gave up and threw them into the fireplace and is now using the open shelf as a bed. Big Hoo hesitates, considering if it is wise to break such wonderful, rare and precious silence, he takes a deep breath and begins to speak, "Okay everyone time for confession cam!" Kouga is startled awake and jumps up, breaking the shelf above him, he holds his head and curses, "GOD DAMMIT! YOU MOTHER F*CKING SHELF!" The shelf he is sitting on breaks under his weight and he crashes to the floor, "SON OF A F*CKING B*TCH!" Sango laughs at the angered wolf and turns off the game console, "You shouldn't have slept on the bookcase, it's for books only, not full grown wolf youkai." Kouga ignores her as he hears yelling from the dining room, both him and Sango walk to the dining room and peer inside. Kikyou is sitting on Naraku, who is screaming bloody murder. Sango raises an eyebrow, "What happened?" Naraku sniffles, "Big Hoo surprised the Little Miss Dead Priestess here and she fell off the chandelier onto poor beautiful meeee!" Kouga snickers, "Perfect aim Kikyou! But I would get off him before you crush him with your fat ass." Kikyou pulls out a sharpened butter knife, "Do you really want to get hit by this knife little wolf boy?" Kouga yelps and runs out of the room while Kikyou laughs and gets off Naraku, who sighs with relief and hurries to find Sesshoumaru. Big Hoo waits impatiently as the cast take their sweet time gathering in the living room. Everyone stays away from InuYasha, who while digging ended up breaking a sewage pipe with his claws. The three other canine demons -Shippou, Kouga, and Sesshoumaru-have their sensitive noses covered with pillows and look as if they are about to be sick. InuYasha is ordered to stay outside. Big Hoo clears his throat dramatically, "Now it is time for confession cam everyone! Talk a little about how you like staying here. Then give me your votes for who you want evicted. First up is Sango." Sango stands up and walks into a room that no one has seen before.  
  
Confession Cam 4:00 P.M.  
  
Sango- Well it's fun living here, I enjoy it. Except for the constant groping by the monk, and that sinister meatball of Kouga's. But getting to eat sausage for breakfast made up for all the bad parts.*grins happily* I just love sausage! It's so great! *rants about sausage for nearly half and hour until Big Hoo orders her to vote* Oh, ummm my first vote would have to be Jaken, he went and ruined that Bob-plant-thingy. I'm not saying I liked the plant, but it did keep Kouga quiet for hours, and after the plant's "death" *does the little finger quotations* that wolf wouldn't stop whining, I was about ready to yank out both my hair and his. Who knew wolves were master whiners? Uh, my second vote will have to be for Kikyou, she gives me the creeps, always floating around, appearing in rooms suddenly and constantly listing ways to die. It's very disturbing! Well, I guess thats it! *gets up and leaves, Miroku enters next*  
  
Miroku- Oh I like it here alot, especially after I learned that bathroom 2a has a lock that is easily picked if you... *trails off as he explains how to pick the bathroom lock with very detailed explainations* Seeing Sango in the shower, now that made my day. *sighs wistfully* I hope she takes another shower today *a rock suddenly flies in and hits Miroku over the head, a note is taped to the large rock that reads "Damn Pervert!"* Eh heh heh, I didn't know she had such good hearing...... * an alarm clock comes in again with another note taped to it, Miroku ducks and grabs the note, it reads "I don't have good hearing, I'm using the wolf as my spy! Muahahaha!" Miroku blinks* Interesting, how did she bribe Kouga into being her spy.... I wonder? *a rubber duckie comes in with a note "I promised to teach him how to play the video game if he was my spy!"* Oh that makes sense I guess. Well, I probably should vote now huh? Okay, my first vote is for Jaken, he tried to smoke some roses that I planned on giving to Sango. My second vote is for Kouga I guess, he's pet meatball is possessed! If the wolf leaves so does the wad of meat! I will finally be able to sleep soundly and dream of Sango *Miroku ducks on instinct and is missed by a large dictionary* Phew, that was close. *gets hit by a brick, leaving a note behind, "Haha didja think I'd miss?"* Uhhh, I think I should leave now, before I say anything else to piss off Sango *hurries out of the room and Kouga comes in, looking around in confusion*  
  
Kouga- Heh this place is great! There is so much to explore! Didja know that the air ducts lead from my room all the way to the kitchen and anywhere else in the house too?! You can get a snack without that freak Sesshoumaru finding out! *scratches his head* What else was I supposed to talk about? *Big Hoo explains yet again about voting* Oh yea! I remember now! I vote for Jaken! He killed Bob! And and and he insulted poor Fred, he called him, and I quote- "A worthless wad of rotten meat thats only good for taking up space in the trash can"!! *is raging mad now* I also vote for Kikyou, she keeps trying to throw that knife at me, I had alot of trouble trying to avoid her, and thats how I found out about the air ducts! Speaking of those air ducts.....I'm gonna go explore them some more I think I might of found a way outta here......*quickly leaves, Sesshoumaru skips in next*  
  
Sesshoumaru-You know this house really needs more pink! And more sparkles and fluffly things! *InuYasha, Miroku, and Kouga can be heard gagging at this idea* Hmph! *frowns in a dignified way* Those boys have NO fashion sense! InuYasha doesn't look good in red at all! The monk is clashing colors with the black and purple kimono. And the wolf does not look good in a skirt, or earth-toned colors. InuYasha looks best in a navy blue, Miroku is sooooo best in red, and Kouga is most definetely best in dark green. And the girls! They have worse fashion sense then the boys! *continues talking about fashion until told by Big Hoo to "SHUT THE F*CK UP!" which leaves Sesshoumaru in shock while the boys cheer for outside the room* B-b-b-but.....*the dog youkai's lower lip trembles then he sulks like a 5 year old* Fine then! I'll just vote then leave! I vote for Kagome, stupid girl is so horrible with clothing choices! Short skirts don't fit her! I keep telling her that it's very inappropriate to where short skirts in a house with three teenage boys! I said it makes her look slutty and she acted like I slapped her or something. And also I vote for Jaken, he knows that smoking ruins your looks, I warned him that he would start to look really disgusting but he still does it anyways! Well, I'm done! Ciao! *skips out and huggles Naraku as he comes in*  
  
Naraku- Oooooooooooooh! I love staying here! This place is just beautiful! But the poor house is being destroyed by that young wolf demon! He was playing tag with the fox kid, and Sango the other day and crashed into a wall, the poor wall has cracks in it now! He also was mad at the monk the other day, I think it was an arguement about hamster and lizards but I'm not sure, but anyways he started to take is rage out on the dining room table! It now has huge claw marks, dents and bite marks all over it! Plus, remember how many times he ruined dear Sesshy-poo's kitchen?! I was afraid my lovely dog demon was going to have a heart attack, and at such a young age too! So, I think I will vote for Kouga! And my second vote has got to be the toad. He always smokes by the kitchen window, that stuff makes the food taste bad! *Big Hoo makes a coughing noise that sounds remarkably like "Sesshoumaru just sucks at cooking." Naraku doesn't seem to notice what Big Hoo coughed* So, am I done now? Can I go? *he nances out of the room and nearly trips InuYasha on his way in*  
  
InuYasha-Err, ummmm, I guess this place is okay, but I would prefer it if it was a forest or something. Umm, my votes are Jaken, that thing smells and it hurts my nose, plus the night he burnt that plant of Kouga's I felt weird and dizzy, and I had a weird craving for chips and cookies and stuff. I also vote for *blushes* Kagome.......she has been really weird lately, always yelling at me and also she is really mean to Kikyou! She didn't do anything! Kagome just can't understand Kikyou's hobbies! *becomes mad and runs out of the room, Kikyou floats in looking angry*  
  
Kikyou- BIG HOO! What did you do to make my InuYasha angry?! *Big Hoo blames Kagome and Kikyou seems pleased* She shall pay for that. Okay, I guess I have to do this before I go and torture that imposter. I don't mind it here. The walls are thin so it is very easy to float through the walls and watch InuYasha as he sleeps. *smiles happily, Big Hoo becomes nervous because Kikyou normally doesn't smile* Now I shall vote. I vote for Kagome! I have my reasons. I also vote for the wolf, he nearly scared the death out of me when he jumped out in front of and tried to imitate the wolf from Lil' Red Riding Hood by yelling, "ALL THE BETTER TO EAT YOU WITH!" *Kouga yells from the other room "HEY! I'M the big bad wolf! Stop imitating me!"* I do like the meatball though, it has potential. I was watching it stalk the lecher yesterday, it is rather skilled. Did Kouga teach him that? If so I am rather surprised a wolf so young knows anything about stalking and attacking people. Well, I'm all done now right? *she floats out off the room and gives Kagome a cold stare as she enters*  
  
Kagome- Well, hello! I enjoy it here a whole lot! It's very fun! But, I think anything caffiene should be banned! *Kouga, Shippou, and InuYasha all yell in unison "WHAT?! BAN THE CAFFIENE?!"* Well, you see once Kouga discovered wear I kept the coffee beans in my backpack, he ate the whole can and was pratically bouncing off the walls all day! *sighs* Also, I've seen Shippou and InuYasha after they drink coffee *shudders* It's not a pretty sight at all. *Big hoo sighs impatiently* Oh, right! The voting! I vote first for Jaken, it was really rude of him to go and kill Bob like that, it really upset Kouga. My second vote is for Sesshoumaru, he keeps telling me to find clothes that fit my style. It's truely annoying! Plus, he called me a slut! *huffs and puffs, then smiles* Well, thanks for letting me talk! *gets up and bows, then walks out, tiny little Shippou bounces into the room*  
  
Shippou- HI HI! *bounces around* I like it here! It's super fun! *smiles cutely and hops about on his tail* I'm gonna vote for Jaken, he isn't very nice. I also wanna vote for Sesshoumaru, he thought I was some clothes accessory yesterday and tried to dye my tail white to match his boa! Whee! I'm all done now! *scurries out like a cute little squirrel, Jaken waddles in with a cigarette in hand*  
  
Jaken- Heh this place is okay, it could use some more cigarettes and beer though. *takes a hit of his cigarette* I vote for Shippou, annoying little bugger. And also Lord Sesshoumaru, he keeps complaining about my smoking. *walks out*  
  
6:48 P.M.  
  
Big Hoo finally talks after alot of laughing, "Okay, everyone very good job! I shall have the eviction results tomorrow! Now go to bed! It's been a long day! Good night!" Everyone mumbles their two compliments quickly and hurry off to bed, everyone except Kikyou and Jaken of course.  
  
11:24 P.M.  
  
Big Hoo is in a cheery mood because it is quiet. Kagome is sleeping soundly in her bed. Sango is hugging her picture of Miroku and snoring softly. Miroku is sleeping with a picture of Sango in his hand. InuYasha is sleeping half on his bed. Naraku is cuddling one of Sesshoumaru's boas. Sesshoumaru is sleeping like sleeping beauty. Kouga has fallen asleep in an air duct on one of his explorations. Shippou is curled into a tight little ball of fluff on his bed. Kikyou and Jaken are outside as always talking about who they voted for earlier today.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Author Note: I hope you enjoy this! There shall be more soon -A few days, maybe one. If you have any suggestions feel free to email me at VampSango@aol.com Also, we would like you to send in questions for the cast! We will be having a day they will answer your questions in the story! And if you have any questions for me send them in! On weekends we do interviews! Plus, send in who you think should be evicted next week!  
  
Disclaimer: We dont own anything! No InuYasha characters, we don't own any of Sesshoumaru's boas or Naraku's make up, or even the dust bunnies under the couch! We're poor mofos who can't afford anything! Credit: We give credit to "The Fluffy Mag" for the idea of this fic! 


	5. FridayWeek1

Big Hoobamawatzit  
  
Friday(Week 1)  
  
Disclaimer: We don't own InuYasha or anything related to InuYasha, or any other products or anime mentioned. But we do own the house(which is made entirely of used refrigerator boxes, duct tape and solidified spam), the front and back yards, and everything in the house(including the pans, sporks, microwaves, etc.)  
  
5:30 A.M.  
  
Harmonious silence.  
  
Kikyou is scheming ways to annoy the cast.  
  
Jaken is kneeling in front of one of the garden gnomes praying to his Gnome God asking for freedom from "this Hell Hole with no cigarettes or respect for the Gnome Lords!"  
  
Kagome is drooling in her sleep.  
  
InuYasha has slept walk during the night and is now in the kitchen sleeping on the microwave clutching a fluffy pink bunny toy and a pan.  
  
Sango is muttering "Miroku...." in her sleep.  
  
Miroku is muttering "Sango...." in his sleep.  
  
Kouga is still asleep in the air ducts, dusty as ever.  
  
Fred is precariously perched on a ceiling fan, stalking Shippou.  
  
Shippou is sound asleep and unaware of his present danger.  
  
Sesshoumaru is sleeping in a silky pink nightgown that he "borrowed" from Kagome, and wearing an avacado mask with cucumbers over his eyes.  
  
Naraku is cuddled next to Sesshoumaru.  
  
6:01 A.M.  
  
Kikyou is complaining to camera B7 that it is freezing in the house, despite the fact that dead people are unaffected by cold temperatures. She wanders to the thermostat and turns the heater on full blast, laughing sinisterly.  
  
6:14 A.M.  
  
Everyone is still sound asleep, but some are becoming uncomfortable as the heater warms the house.  
  
6:19 A.M.  
  
A loud yelp of pain wakes up everyone and they hurry to where the noise came from. Kouga crashes through Sesshoumaru and Naraku's bedroom ceiling as he tries to get out of the boiling hot air ducts. Sesshoumaru and Naraku come squealing out of their room. Kouga stumbles out covered in dust and with his hands over his eyes, "So much pink! It hurts to look at! I think I'm bliiiiiiiiiiiiind!" The cast stare in shock at the huge hole in the ceiling, then to Sesshoumaru and Naraku, then to the dust covered wolf. Laughing is heard from Kikyou, she collapses to the ground holding her sides, tears of mirth streaming down her face.  
  
Kouga turns and glares at Kikyou, "YOU! You turned the heater up didn't you?!"  
  
Kikyou sits up and smirks, "Maaaaybe."  
  
Just before Kouga pounces on Kikyou, Big Hoo speaks, "Good morning! As a reward for your SOMEWHAT good behavior lately, you are going to be permitted to have a party!"  
  
Cheers erupt from the cast.  
  
Big Hoo sighs, " Anyways, I don't want to force my crew to have to repair EVERYTHING you broke, so your task for the day will be to clean the house up and fix all the large damages you made, before the party. Designate some members to make invites and preparations. Big Hoo signing off!"  
  
The cast glare at Kouga, the one most responsible for the damages to the house. Growling is heard from a nearby bookcase, alerting the group of Kouga's guardian meatball.  
  
"Doesn't that thing ever stop stalking us?!" Miroku complained as he inched toward his meatball proof room.  
  
"Stalking is Fred's favorite game!" Kouga laughed, scooping up the snarling wad of meat.  
  
Kagome takes the initiative to designate jobs to the cast, "InuYasha, Shippou, Sesshoumaru, Naraku, you guys do the basic clean up. Kikyou, Kouga, Miroku and Jaken, you guys do the repairs. Sango and I will do the invitations."  
  
Sesshoumaru frowns at the idea of doing tedious cleaning, "Who will make the food?"  
  
Naraku nods vigorously, "Yes, we will need food for a paaaaar-tay!" He does a little dance with invisible marachas.  
  
Kagome sighs, "Okay. Since you guys are too lazy to do clean up, you can cook." Sesshoumaru and Naraku cheer.  
  
Sango mutters under her breath, "You're one to talk about being lazy, Kagome...."  
  
The cast breaks up and head off to their tasks.  
  
7:00 A.M.  
  
Kagome and Sango are in the living room decorating paper with glitter, stickers and markers. Sango is doing most of the work, as Kagome is busy watching the "A-Team" on the TV.  
  
"Oh, I love Mr. T! He's soooo cool!" Kagome hugs a pillow to herself as she gets dreamy eyed.  
  
Sango rolls her eyes and makes gagging gestures behind Kagome's back. "Kagome, who should we invite?"  
  
Kagome looks thoughtful for a moment, "How about..." She begins whispering in Sango's ear.  
  
7:16 AM  
  
In the kitchen, Sesshoumaru and Naraku are baking cookies and other treats. Sesshoumaru is mixing the dough while Naraku decorates the sweets with little candy stars and moons.  
  
"Maru-chan? Is this enough sparkly sugar for this cookie?" Naraku holds up a cookie completely coated in the red colored sparkles.  
  
Sesshoumaru grins, "Its positively gorgeous, Nara-chan!" Naraku blushes slightly and places the overly decorated cookie on the cooling rack beside other similar cookies.  
  
7: 38 AM  
  
In Sesshoumaru and Naraku's bedroom, Miroku and Kouga are repairing the huge hole in the roof.  
  
Miroku is balanced precariously on two stacked pink fuzzy chairs, holding a wood board over the hole. Kouga is standing on the dresser, attempting to hammer nails into the board from an awkward angle. Fred has been trapped under the waste basket by a certain monk.  
  
"Whoa, watch out!" Miroku pulls his hands away from the wildly swung hammer. The monk loses his balance from his sudden movements and crashes to the floor, chairs on top of him. The board lands on Kouga's head, as do the nails and hammer.  
  
Dark chuckling is heard from the doorway. Miroku and Kouga glare at Kikyou and Jaken, who are pointing and laughing.  
  
Kikyou smirks, "You two are horrible carpenters. Remind me to never hire you."  
  
Miroku, not at all in a joking mood, flips Kikyou the bird, "I don't see you doing any work, Miss Useless Spirit."  
  
Kikyou huffs and storms out of the room, at least she tries to storm out, but ghosts aren't really capable of stomping down halls.  
  
Jaken waddles after Kikyou, a pack of cigarettes from Gnome-God-Knows-Where clutched in his little green hand ... err claw ... err paw ....err WHATEVER!  
  
7: 59 AM  
  
InuYasha is in his bedroom. He is snickering to himself as he dusts the room. Shippou is tied to a broomstick, his fluffy tail serving as a duster for InuYasha.  
  
"I-I-InuYasha, please untie me! This doesn't count as cleaning!" Shippou cried pitiously.  
  
"This is MY form of cleaning." InuYasha growled, "Now shut up or I'll wash the windows with you too." Shippou promptly closed his mouth.  
  
8: 13 AM  
  
InuYasha has moved on to cleaning the bathrooms. He is washing the sink and counters.  
  
Shippou is in the bathtub, scrubbing as hard as his little hands can.  
  
"Oh, gross!" InuYasha pulls a wad of long silver hair from the drain. He clenches his fists, "Sesshoumaru. You'll pay for this, I should not have to clean up your hair!"  
  
Shippou squeaks from the bathtub, "Eep! There's more hair!" He jumps out of the tub, trying to get the huge pile of white hair from clinging to his foot. "Its alive! Help, help!"  
  
InuYasha sighs and pulls the hair off Shippou, "You idiot. Its not alive. Its just clingy."  
  
Shippou collapses on the tiled floor, panting in exhaustion. "Th-thank you."  
  
InuYasha boots the small fox demon out of the bathroom, "Go clean somewhere else. Where you won't bug me!"  
  
Shippou scurries off in the direction of the backyard.  
  
8:17 AM  
  
Sesshoumaru is baking a large vanilla cake. Naraku is making an enormous bowl of Chex Mix, tossing in ingredients that have no place whatsoever in a Chex Mix.  
  
Sesshoumaru places the cake batter in a Pichu shaped cake pan, "This cake is going to be so cute!"  
  
Naraku peers at the cake pan, "Aww! I love Pikachu!"  
  
Sesshoumaru frowns, gently smacking Naraku with a spatula, "That isn't a Pikachu. That's a Pichu, by far the cutest!"  
  
Naraku puts on a pouty face and turns away from Sesshoumaru, busying himself with adding chopped onions to the Chex Mix.  
  
Sesshoumaru flips his hair and ignores Naraku entirely, muttering something about "silly baboons, not knowing anything about Pichus and Pikachus...."  
  
8:36 AM  
  
Miroku and Kouga, having somehow successfully repaired the ceiling hole, are in the laundry room. Miroku is attempting to repair the washing machine, which has been acting up and spinning around wildly during washes.  
  
Kouga is trying to mend some shirts he found with large holes. His attempts are unsuccessful, as he constantly stabs himself with the dull needle. "Ow! Stupid needle. Ow! Curse you needle....Ouch!"  
  
Miroku snickers to himself, "Idiot wolf." He hears familiar growling from behind him and whirls around to come face to meat with Fred. The monk thinks quickly and snatches up a nearby tennis racket, smacking Fred viciously.  
  
The meatball is sent flying, landing in the open dryer. Fred hisses dangerously as Miroku slams the dryer lid shut.  
  
Miroku does a small victory dance as he turns the dryer on, cheering in triumph as Fred growls from within the machine.  
  
Kouga is oblivious to what is happening behind him, still preoccupied with cursing the sewing needle.  
  
Miroku, now in a far better mood seeing as his mortal enemy has been vanquished, returns to repairing the washer.  
  
8:47 AM  
  
Sango and Kagome have completed the invitations. Both sit in the living room, trying to figure out how to send the invites.  
  
Being hit with a sudden idea, Sango yells at a nearby camera, "Hey, Big Hoo!"  
  
Big Hoo answers in a groggy voice, "Eh? Whazzup?"  
  
"How do we send these invitations?" Sango glances around the room, unsure of where to address Big Hoo.  
  
"Huh? Oh! Go to the front door, I'll send one of the crew members to take the invites and deliver them." With a click the speaker turns off.  
  
Sango, excited to have contact with the outside world, hurries to the front door. A boisterous knocking is heard from beyond the door as Sango reaches it. She opens the door and is bombarded by... forks? No, sporks! She nearly falls over as three odd looking chracters waltz in.  
  
"Who-?" Sango is cut off by the trio, as they introduce themselves almost robotically.  
  
"Sir Spork is me!" A teenage squirrel demon proceeds in an old fashioned bow with a goofy smile covering her face. She is dressed in a black shirt reading "SPORK", light blue pants, and black boots. She has wild red- orange hair and two black stripes upon both her cheeks.  
  
"I be-ith Sir Squirrel-o!" About the same age as Sir Spork, the second squirrel demon curtseys with minimal curtseying skills. She is clad in a black shirt picturing a pinecone, gray pants, and black boots. Her spastic black and red hair sticks up in every other direction as she grins at the startled Sango.  
  
"I am Sir Pan the Panness, the almight cook, not even Emeril rivals my skills, I am wielder of all things skillety and there-"  
  
"Shut up." Mumbled both the squirrels.  
  
The fox demon who introduced herself as Pan appeared slightly older than her two friends. She was wearing green, medieval style clothing, somewhat resembling Robin Hood's garb. Her not-so-neat brownish-blonde hair protudes from every side of her hat, excluding the two sections that her fox ears occupy.  
  
Sango blinks, "You guys are..." she searched for a word.  
  
"Weird?" questioned the one called Sir Spork.  
  
"Yeeeah," Sango agreed cautiously, not wanting to offend guests of the house.  
  
9:00 AM  
  
"Who's there?" Called Kagome from the other room.  
  
"Your worst nightmare!" Sir Squirrel went running toward the direction Kagome's voice was heard from. Sir Squirrel took a running dive and tumbled over the back of the couch, landing haphazardly next to the now frightened Kagome.  
  
"Who the Hell are you?!" Kagome stared wide-eyed at Sir Squirrel.  
  
"Like I said, your worst nightmare!" Sir Squirrel sat up and began jumping on the couch, causing Kagome to bounce off her cushion and smack her head violently on the table and collapse to the floor.  
  
Sango, Sir Pan, and Sir Spork came running at the loud sound. "What happened to Kagome?" they all questioned in unison.  
  
Sir Squirrel smiles innocently and points at the table, "The Coffee Table did it."  
  
Sir Pan nods, "You really gotta watch out for anything with Coffee in it, they're really dangerous."  
  
"Especially anything that spells Coffee as C-o-f-f-e-Y!" Sir Spork added.  
  
All three demons laugh. Sango frowns, obviously not wise to the inside joke. "Uh, don't you guys need to deliver these invitations?"  
  
Sir Spork suddenly stands at attention, "Yessir, right away, sir!" She snatches up the invitations and races out the door. Sir Squirrel follows after her.  
  
Sir Pan salutes smartly to Sango, "G'day, sir!" She runs out the door as well, slamming it shut behind her.  
  
Sango sighs heavily, "What a bunch of weirdos...." She strolls off to the kitchen, not bothering to check on Kagome.  
  
9:05 AM  
  
Shippou is out in the backyard, attempting to rake up leaves with a rake five times his size.  
  
Kikyou and Jaken aren't helping at all. They are enjoying tossing flaming matches on the piles of leaves, watching them burn as Shippou races around in a panic.  
  
"Stop it, you guys!" Shippou pleaded, "You could burn down the house!"  
  
Kikyou stopped her arm as she raised it to throw another match. She seems to consider this for a moment before grinning sinisterly, "All the better!"  
  
Jaken nods in agreement and launches another match. A nearby pile of leaves erupts into flames. Shippou squeaks and throws dirt on the fire. Once the flame is quelled, Kikyou tosses her mini-torch on another pile, laughing evilly.  
  
Thinking quickly, Shippou yelled at the pair, "Stop it! If you burn down the house, you could risk hurting InuYasha!"  
  
Kikyou's eyes went wide and she immediately put out the match in her hand. Jaken, not really caring about InuYasha, aimed another flaming projectile. Kikyou smacked the green toad upside the head and gave him a death glare.  
  
"Throw one more, toad, and you will find yourself six feet under in six seconds!" Kikyou warned.  
  
Jaken swallowed hard, dropping his match into the pool.  
  
Shippou sighed with relief, continuing his raking without any further disturbances.  
  
9:14 AM  
  
InuYasha is still in the bathroom, doing battle with the hair in the shower drain.  
  
"Damn hair! Let go of me!" He swipes viciously at the long entangling strands. "Release me now!"  
  
Snicker is heard from the doorway. InuYasha turns and glares at his visitor. Miroku is leaning against the doorway, wearing a smug expression.  
  
"What do you want, monk?" InuYasha snaps.  
  
Miroku smiles wickedly, "Shall I destroy the evil hair that is tormenting you, InuYasha? I have had quite a bit of luck," he smirks again, "vanquishing possessed creatures today."  
  
InuYasha looks confused for a moment. Kouga walks past the doorway, singing sorrowfully, "I lost my poor meatball, all covered in fuzz..."  
  
"You got rid of....that THING?!" InuYasha stares at Miroku, who nods in reply.  
  
"I did. It is no more!" He is on the verge of doing a victory dance when he hears an all too familiar snarl behind him. He turns, staring wide-eyed at the meatball at his feet.  
  
Fred has grown quite a bit by absorbing lint and clothing in the dryer. And now he is out for revenge. Just before the sinister meat attacks, Kouga scoops him up, "Fred! You're alive! And you've grown!" He hugs the meatball and walks away.  
  
Miroku breathes a huge sigh of relief, "That thing almost ATE me!"  
  
InuYasha is now the one wearing the smug look, "What was that about you vanquishing possessed creatures?"  
  
"Oh shut up, mutt." Miroku storms off to his meatball proof room to devise another scheme to destroy Fred.  
  
InuYasha resumes his battle against the clinging silver hairs.  
  
9: 27 AM  
  
Sesshoumaru is making drinks for the party. He has concocted oddly colored lemonade with the aroma of roses, green apple juice with blue smoke wafting from it and snow-cones that have a certain resemblance to margaritas.  
  
Naraku peers at the drinks nervously, "Sesshie, you may be good at baking and cooking and stir frying and roasting and broiling and all that stuff, but you're no good at drinks."  
  
Sesshoumaru gives Naraku a warning glare, "Don't judge a book by its cover."  
  
Naraku nods as he turns away to prepare taco and burrito ingredients, muttering under his breath, "But I will judge a drink by the slimey goop crawling out of it..."  
  
9:45 AM  
  
Kouga enters the living room looking triumphant, "What a great day!"  
  
Sango, seated on the floor watching Invader Zim, doesn't look up at the wolf, "How so?"  
  
"Because all the repairs are done, Fred's grown bigger and Miroku is locked away in his room where he won't bother poor Fred." Kouga replies as he hops onto the couch, "Ooo! I love this show! Ultra Peepi is the best, that radioactive hamster reminds me of Fred."  
  
Sango puts a finger to her lips, "Sshh! You just interrupted the great Gir!"  
  
"Sorry..."  
  
Shippou, followed by Kikyou and Jaken, enters the room, "Hi guys!"  
  
"Sshhh!" Both Kouga and Sango reprimand.  
  
Jaken stares at the screen, "The Gnome Gods..." He races up to the TV, bowing and groveling before it, "My Great and All Powerful Gnome Gods, I am at your mercy!"  
  
"Get out of the way! I can't see Dib!" Sango yells, booting the green ... thing away from the TV.  
  
Kikyou and Shippou take their seats on the couch--or on the still unconscious Kagome in Shippou's case--to watch the enthralling, maniacal show.  
  
10:02 AM  
  
InuYasha exits the bathroom, his arms raised victoriously above his head, "I have conquered the clingy silver hairs of DOOM!"  
  
Shippou applaudes the hanyou as he enters the living room, "Yay! No more grabby evil hairs!"  
  
Kouga glances at InuYasha, "Are you going to use that hair for anything, dog breath?"  
  
InuYasha looks disgusted, "Hell no!"  
  
"Good, Fred go eat your lunch." Kouga nudges the larger-than-normal meatball towards the bathroom.  
  
Sango, Shippou and InuYasha shudder, "Eww."  
  
10:14 AM  
  
Sesshoumaru and Naraku enter the dining room laden with shiny silver trays. Each of them places the trays of food on the beautiful new extra-large all maple dining room table, provided by Pelstos' Furniture and Liquor, where you can get drunk and pass out on the couch or table of your dreams!  
  
Sesshoumaru sniffs the air, "Is something burning?"  
  
Naraku sniffs too, "I don't know, Sesshie, my nose isn't as good as yours."  
  
"Ack! My Pichu cake!" Sesshoumaru races back into the kitchen to rescue his cake.  
  
Naraku shrugs and continues to carry trays from the kitchen to the table.  
  
10:29 AM  
  
Sesshoumaru returns from the kitchen with his Pichu cake, properly decorated with yellow, black and red frosting, "I saved it!"  
  
Naraku stops hanging balloons from the roof to clap, "Bravo! It looks stupendous, Snuggle-tush!"  
  
Sesshoumaru bows elegantly, "I know, I know." He picks up some pink and white streamers, "Now, to make this place look good!" He begins to decorate with Naraku.  
  
10:41 AM  
  
Miroku exits from his bedroom and creeps cautiously into the living room, where most of the cast is still watching Invader Zim. Seeing no meatball present, he flops down beside Sango.  
  
Miroku receives a light slap from Sango for trying to use her lap as a pillow. Sango permits the monk to use her lower legs though.  
  
Kagome finally regains consciousness. She sits up rubbing her injured head, "Owww..."  
  
Sango glances at Kagome, "Finally up, are we?"  
  
Kagome blinks, "What happened, all I remember is seeing a spastic squirrel- thing and then I blacked out."  
  
Sango laughs, "That spastic squirrel-thing was Sir Squirrel. She and her odd friends came to deliver the invites. Sir Squirrel had jumped on the couch, which knocked you off, and you hit your head on the coffee tab-"  
  
Kagome suddenly jumps up with a startled squeak, "Don't say that word!!"  
  
Everyone blinks in confusion, "What word?"  
  
"THAT word!" Kagome yells.  
  
Miroku, a devilish grin appearing on his face, asks innocently, "Do you mean ... coffee?"  
  
Kagome yelps again, "Yes! That word is EVIL!"  
  
Sango blinks, an equally mischeviously smile on her face, "What's wrong with coffee?"  
  
"Stop! Please!" Kagome pleads.  
  
"Are you afraid of the word because you got injured by the COFFEE table?" Miroku asks.  
  
Kagome flinches away from Miroku, "Yes, now please stop saying that word!"  
  
Kikyou snickers evilly, "Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee."  
  
Kagome screams and dives under the couch, where she cowers in fear.  
  
Kikyou continues chanting her new favorite word.  
  
10:58 AM  
  
Sesshoumaru and Naraku, finally complete with their decorations, enter the living room to find Kikyou standing triumphantly atop the couch, chanting wildly, "Coffee, coffee, coffee!"  
  
Shippou, being a kid easily influenced by adults, has joined in with Kikyou's chants.  
  
Sango and Miroku are on the floor laughing, managing to say 'Coffee' between laughing fits.  
  
Kouga is too busying watching the "Price Is Right" to notice anything. He sniffles everytime a contestant says 'Bob'. Fred has finished his hairy- lunch and is comforting the sullen wolf.  
  
InuYasha, finally able to have revenge for all the times Kagome has said 'Sit!', is enjoying yelling 'Coffee' at the top of his lungs.  
  
Big Hoo suddenly comes on with a boisterous, "Hulloooo!"  
  
Everyone stops whatever they were doing to face the nearest speaker.  
  
Big Hoo clears his throat, "As you all know, the party is about to start. Your guests are arriving right............now!" The doorbell rings and Big Hoo signs off with a laugh, "I'm so psychic."  
  
"Psycho, the word is Psycho," murmurs Miroku.  
  
Sango leaps to her feet to greet their guests. She swings open the door to admit a tall blonde man dressed in a red trench coat and a slightly shorter bluish-black haired man in a blue suit.  
  
"Hello!" the blonde greeted merrily.  
  
"What's up?" the other man nodded to Sango.  
  
Sango smiled, "Hi Vash, hey Wolfwood. Come in!" She stood back to allow the two guests to enter.  
  
As she closed the door someone's voice called, "Wait, please, Ms. Sango."  
  
Sango opened the door again so more guests could enter. A young boy with silver hair and distant violet eyes smiled sweetly as he walked in, followed by an orange-haired boy with sharp crimson eyes and two dark eyed, black haired men, one with a grin on his face, the other wore a scowl.  
  
"Yuki, Kyo, Shigure, Hatori! Hi!" Sango greeted the four new arrivals.  
  
A bouncy blonde young boy and a white haired gothic young man entered behind Hatori and Shigure.  
  
"Guten-tag, Sango-chan! You invited me! I'm so happy!" The little blonde glomped Sango and in a puff of smoke he disappeared, replaced by a kawaii little yellow bunny.  
  
The white-haired boy sweatdropped, "Momiji..."  
  
Sango laughed, picking up the rabbit, "It's okay, Hatsuharu."  
  
Kagome hopped around happily, "I'm so glad you all came!"  
  
The rest of the BH cast watched the unfamiliar guests as they made their way to the dining room.  
  
There was loud, obnoxious--and oddly familiar--knocking on the door, making Sango and Kagome freeze. Without waiting for someone to answer, Sir Squirrel, Sir Spork and Sir Pan crashed through the door, followed by another girl with burgundy hair, white ferret ears and tail; she was dressed in baggy pants and a shirt.  
  
"We're heeeeeeeeeeeeeere! And we brought Sir Spam!" Sir Squirrel announced cheerfully gesturing to the new nut-case.  
  
Vash clapped, "Sir Squirrel!" The tall blonde raced up to the demon, hugging her.  
  
Sir Spork grinned wickedly, hug-tackling Kyo from behind, "Kyo-kun! I missed you!" She grinned down at Kyo-turned-orange-cat who glared back at her.  
  
Sir Pan promptly glomped Wolfwood, who patted her head while laughing.  
  
Sir Spam tailed Hatori, ogling him with adoring eyes.  
  
Kouga tapped Sango's shoulder, "Why did you invite those weirdos?"  
  
Sango sweatdropped, "I didn't. They must have invited themselves."  
  
Sir Squirrel, sitting on Vash's shoulders, called to Sango, "Hey! I saw your last three guests heading up the walkway outside!"  
  
The BH cast turned to face the open door, where three figures stood.  
  
Kouga growled, "Who the Hell invited that wench!?"  
  
"Shut up, wolf cub!" Kagura(the InuYasha one, not the Fruits Basket one), the first of the three new arrivals to step inside, snapped.  
  
"You shut up, wind witch!" Kouga retorted.  
  
"Why don't BOTH of you shut up!?" Miroku shouted, causing everyone to grow silent.  
  
The other two guests, now recognizable as a tall silver-haired, green- yellow eyed male and a timid brown haired young man, walked through the door.  
  
Shigure looked up from the sandwich he was making, "Aya-kun! You were invited too!"  
  
The silver-haired man nodded, "Yes, Gure-kun! Isn't it wonderful?" he twirled happily, crashing into the guest at his side.  
  
The brown haired youth yelped, "I'm so sorry, Ayame! I'm such a disgrace, getting in the way all the time. Oh, I don't deserve to be in the Sohma family! Please forgive me."  
  
Kyo glared at the apologizing guest, "Shut up, Ritsu!"  
  
Ritsu bowed his head, "I'm sorry! I won't do it again! Please forgive m-!" A strip of duct tape placed over his mouth cut of the rest of his apology.  
  
Wolfwood dusted his hands, putting the roll of duct tape back in his pocket, "Sorry, he was getting on my nerves."  
  
Sesshoumaru glanced around, "Well, Nara-chan and I worked our tails off to make you all food, so eat!"  
  
11:13 AM  
  
Each guest and cast member hurried to their favorite snack present on the table.  
  
Vash went for the donuts.  
  
InuYasha took all the ramen.  
  
Kouga had chicken and lambchops.  
  
Kikyou did not eat anything.  
  
Yuki enjoyed some onigiri.  
  
Kyo, back in his human form and fully clothed, had lost his appetite after accidently eating some leeks slipped into his soup from Yuki.  
  
Shigure, Wolfwood and Jaken sat in a corner and enjoyed some cigarettes provided by Wolfwood.  
  
Hatsuharu ate all the veggies on the vegetable platter.  
  
Momiji, after returning to his human form and finding his clothes, shared a huge pile of candy with Shippou.  
  
Naraku ate some of Sesshoumaru's partially burnt Pichu cake.  
  
Hatori ate a healthy salad.  
  
Sir Squirrel and Sir Spork had some acorns.  
  
Sir Pan fried up Naraku's Chex Mix and ate that.  
  
Sir Spam had German based food.  
  
Miroku had chili dogs, lots of chili dogs.  
  
Sango, after a boisterous exclaimation of "BUUUURRIIIIITOOOOOES!", took over the burrito and taco platter. And she had some sausage.  
  
Kagura had anything Kouga wouldn't touch.  
  
Ayame only ate foods that looked pretty.  
  
Ritsu apologized continuously and chose only to eat a box of Ritz Crackers.  
  
Kagome didn't touch anything that remotely resembled coffee(i.e. cappucino, coffee cake, coffee ice cream, etc.)  
  
Sesshoumaru tried a little bit of everything he made, only eating tiny bites because he was watching his calories.  
  
Fred was the only one to drink any of Sesshoumaru's beverages, and it is now a proven fact that radioactive, possessed meatballs can indeed get drunk from margarita-snow-cones.  
  
11:36 AM  
  
After all the food had been disposed of, cast members and guests are enjoying a variety of activities.  
  
Ayame and Sesshoumaru--who found they had so much in common--have started singing to Ricky Martin.  
  
Sir Spam is busying talking in German to Momiji.  
  
Shigure, Jaken and Wolfwood are still smoking, but this time they are sitting outside in the warm sun.  
  
Outside, Sango, Miroku, Sir Squirrel and Vash are playing a game of Chicken in the pool.  
  
Sir Pan is teaching Hatsuharu how to make delicious meals made entirely of vegetables.  
  
Ritsu, Shippou, Kyo and InuYasha are playing a game of Super Smash Brothers Melee. And Ritsu apologizes every time his character does damage to another character.  
  
Hatori is conversing with Kouga about how unsanitary it is to keep a rotting hunk of meat as a pet.  
  
Kagura and Kikyou are enjoying ripping up the garden and watching Yuki try and repair it.  
  
Sir Spork is delighting in tormenting Kagome by singing her favorite songs with rewritten lyrics(every word has been changed to 'Coffee').  
  
Naraku is pouting in a corner, giving Ayame death glares.  
  
Fred is gurgling in a corner, rather wasted from his snowcones.  
  
12:05 PM  
  
Big Hoo suddenly comes on, "AHEM! It is past noon, time for the guests to go home."  
  
Whines and complaints are heard from everyone.  
  
Big Hoo sighed, "I don't care if its only been an hour. You weren't supposed to have contact with the outside world at all, I just felt like being nice today. Now, if the guests will be so kind as to get their tails out of here, I won't have to call security guards."  
  
"But Squirrel, Spam, Pan and I are the security, BH!" Spork reminded Big Hoo.  
  
"I know that, Sir Spork. Why don't you take the guests to your home and continue the party there?" Big Hoo asked.  
  
The four demon-security guards grinned wickedly, "Deal!"  
  
Before anyone could even blink, Sir Squirrel, Sir Pan, Sir Spork and Sir Spam had ushered all the guests out of the house, leaving the cast alone again.  
  
Big Hoo cleared his throat, "As some of you may have forgotten, today is Friday, which means someone is getting voted out of the house. I want you all to clean up the mess from the party, then I will announce who has been voted out. Big Hoo signing off!"  
  
The cast members split up to do different cleaning jobs.  
  
12:11 PM  
  
Sesshoumaru and Naraku are in the kitchen, washing the dishes, cups and platters used in the party.  
  
Naraku is giggling like a school girl as he feeds all the leftovers to Fred, "Hehe, this thing is like a portable garbage disposal!"  
  
Sesshoumaru glares at Naraku, "Do not call my cooking garbage. It is a masterpiece no simple minded fool could understand and appreciate. Hmph!" He turned away from the baffled baboon with a flip of his silvery hair.  
  
Naraku shrugs and continues feeding the bottomless pit of a meatball.  
  
12:27 PM  
  
Sango and Miroku are in the dining room, cleaning up the decorations. Sango is wrapped up in a long pink streamer, laughing hysterically. Miroku is covered from head to foot in pink, silver, white and yellow confetti, dancing atop the table.  
  
Shippou enters the room carrying a pile of used paper cups. The little fox stops short, staring at the odd pair. "What did you two eat?"  
  
Sango and Miroku grin, yelling as loud as possible, "BUUUURRIIIITTOOOOOOES!"  
  
Shippou blinks, drops the cups and races out of the room to clean somewhere else.  
  
Sango laughs and falls off the chair she was sitting on as Miroku climbs on the chandelier.  
  
"Hehehe, its a MONKey!" Sango snickers, pointing at Miroku.  
  
Miroku starts swinging on the chandelier, making monkey noises. There is a loud crack as the chandelier breaks away from the roof and comes crashing down.  
  
Sango stops laughing to help Miroku climb out of the twisted remains of the chandelier, "Way to go, monkey boy."  
  
Kagome enters to see what the loud noise was from, "Oh my God! What did you do?" She puts her hands on her hips, glaring at Miroku.  
  
Miroku glares back, "Oh, go jump off a cliff."  
  
Kagome's eye twitches, "Don't speak to me like that!"  
  
"COOOOOOOOOFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Sango yells as loud as possible.  
  
Kagome screeched and raced out of the room, leaving the monk and demon slayer to continue their antics in peace.  
  
12:32 PM  
  
InuYasha and Kouga are in the backyard cleaning up the mess of pool toys.  
  
Kikyou is following InuYasha around, begging him to read her new poem, "Please, InuYasha, my love. Read my new poem, you were the inspiration."  
  
InuYasha sighs, "I can't right now Kikyou, I have to finish cleaning up."  
  
Kikyou glances at Kouga, who is trapped in a life preservor, "Cleaning can wait, InuYasha. Please?" She tries to look as sweet and innocent as possible which resembles a cross between a scowl and a pout with shiny chibi eyes.  
  
InuYasha shudders, "Okay, okay. I'll read it." He takes the tattered piece of pink paper--which he recognizes as part of Kagome's diary--clears his throat and reads the poem outloud:  
  
"I am Darkness, Death and Doom  
  
I beat my reincarnate with a broom.  
  
I am Power, Grace and Beauty  
  
My reincarnate looks like Mr. T."  
  
InuYasha stares at the poem, "Wow...." He shudders again.  
  
Kikyou, misinterpretating InuYasha's words, smiles, "I knew you would like it." She snatches the paper back, hurrying off to write more.  
  
12:36 PM  
  
Shippou is attempting to use the vacuum, despite the fact it's three--maybe four--times his height and he can barely even switch it on, much less push it across the carpet. When he finally realizes his attempts are futile, he decides to use the much smaller, much lighter, hand held, portable vacuum-- which is still a bit awkward in his small grasp. He succeeds in vacuuming all the rooms and the kitchen and the living room and the bathrooms and the closets and the tables and the couches and the toilets and the roof and the ceiling and just about every possible thing he could... Though when he was vacuuming the pool, the Handy Dandy Vacuum decided it had had enough and it exploded.  
  
Miroku and Sango, heard the explosion and, since they were done cleaning, went out to help Shippou clean the pool. They also helped rescue Kouga, who was still struggling to escape the death grip of the life preserver.  
  
1:00 PM  
  
Everyone has completed their cleaning and the house is spotless.  
  
1:01 PM  
  
Big Hoo pops on the intercom to announce some more 'fun', "Guess what, guys! We're gonna play a game!"  
  
The cast, who had accumulated in the dining room when they finished their cleaning, sort of grumbled their lack of enthusiasm.  
  
"We're gonna play Ruiner of Reputation-UHM, i mean Newly Weds!!" Big Hoo sounded a little too over-excited.  
  
"But none of us are married," Kagome pointed out.  
  
"I call Sango!" Miroku hopped around gleefully and received a glare from Sango.  
  
"The teams have been randomly selected," Big Hoo lied.  
  
"Well, what are they?" hissed Kikyou, floating closer to InuYasha in hopes he was her match.  
  
"Miroku with Sango," Big Hoo was cut off.  
  
"YIPPEE!" shouted Miroku and he glomped Sango, only to retreat from her before going through a near death experience.  
  
"Anyway," Big Hoo cleared his throat, "InuYasha with Kagome..."  
  
Kikyou growled.  
  
"...Kikyou with Shippou..."  
  
Kikyou growled again and Shippou squeaked in fear.  
  
"...and Sesshoumaru with Naraku."  
  
The two huggled and giggled, knowing their chances of winning were extremely high.  
  
Big Hoo continued, "Kouga is the host and Jaken can keep score. Now, go into the living room."  
  
The cast walked out, surprised to find their living room decorated for the game. There were eight chairs with the contestants names on them. Each chair held a pile of large blank cards, a marker, and either a veil (for the girls) or a top hat (for thr guys). Kouga ran to the podium and tapped the microphone, causing it to make that wretched screeching noise and InuYasha gripped his sensitive ears.  
  
The contestants took their assigned seats and awaited instruction.  
  
Big Hoo could be heard clapping on the speakers, "Let the games begin!"  
  
1:15 PM  
  
Kouga took the liberty to explain the rules, "I am your master! YOU WILL OBEY! Obey your master, or you shall be puished! Oh, such punishment will I give! I will rule! Rule with an iron fist!" Kouga held up his fist and was given a few strange looks as he continued. "Obey the fist! IT WILL RULE YOU!"  
  
A member of the contestants mumbles, "No more Invade Zim for you."  
  
"Do your job or you'll be fired!" Big Hoo threatened.  
  
"Okay," Kouga whimpered and lifted his papers in front of himself, "let's begin, shall we?"  
  
1:25 PM  
  
"The rules are simple. First, the male partners leave the room. Has everyone decided who gets to play the daddy?"  
  
Miroku wore the top hat, Sango wore the veil.  
  
InuYasha wore the top hat, Kagome wore the veil.  
  
Shippou wore the top hat, Kikyou wore the veil, much to her dislike.  
  
Naraku agreed to wear the top hat, Sesshoumaru more than happily agreed to wear the veil.  
  
"Okay, so when the 'men' leave, I ask the women questions. They will jot down their answers on the cards that have been made available. The men will return, and I will ask them the same questions, they must answer what they believe the female asnwered. The first four questions are worth 5 points, the last one is worth 10. You all with me?"  
  
The crew nodded and murmured their "yeah"s.  
  
"So then we will proceed with the same steps, only the women will leave. And at the end of the game there is a 30 point question. Let's start." Kouga rubbed his palms together, grinning evilly.  
  
1:35 PM  
  
The 'men' have went to the backroom of the large house, so they are unable to hear the women's answers.  
  
Kouga began, "First question: What was your favorite child hood toy?"  
  
A few grumbles due to lack of knowledge were heard and the veil-wearing contestants marked their answers on a card.  
  
Sesshoumaru glanced up, an ashamed look on his face, "I messed up, can I have another card?"  
  
Sango sighed, "You have ten cards in your lap."  
  
"Oh, yeah!" Sesshoumaru acted as if he knew all along and wrote down his answer on a new card.  
  
"Everyone done?" the wolf demon asked, awaited for nods, and continued. "Second question: Who is your least favorite person?"  
  
There was giggling heard from a member, and when they appeared finished, Kouga hurried the game along.  
  
"Three, who is your best friend?"  
  
The contestants had to wait a while for Kikyou to finally answer after a drawn out bunch of "Hmmmmmmm"'s.  
  
"Number Four: What is your most embarrassing moment?"  
  
The 'women' seemed to take their time on this one. Finally they finished answering.  
  
"The 10-pointer! What is the most erotic place you've ever made out, or wanted to make-out?" Kouga suddenly felt like a young lady at a sleep over, playing one of those girly games...  
  
Sango's face became flushed, as well as Kagome and Sesshoumaru. Kikyou would have blushed, should she have had any blood or any modesty.  
  
The contestants hid their answers, even though they would have to reveal them later.  
  
1:45 PM  
  
The men were seated, awaiting their part of the game.  
  
Kouga cleared his throat, "Okay. The first question was your partner's favorite childhood toy? Miroku, what's your answer?"  
  
He had to stop and think about his answer for a moment, "Uhhhhhhm, a plush teddy bear, Mr. Roar." He answered with confidence.  
  
Sango blushed slightly and held up a card that read "Mr. Roar--teddy bear".  
  
"Miroku and Sango are awarded 5 points," Kouga told Jaken, and the toad wrote something on a pad of paper.  
  
"InuYasha, what was Kagome's favorite toy as a child?" Kouga was being a good host, which was surprsing everyone.  
  
InuYasha grinned, "Easy! A stuffed dog, because Kagome's favorite animals are dogs."  
  
Kagome sighed, holding up to show her answer, "A stretch-arm Mr. T doll."  
  
A few of the contestants raised their eyebrows and looked at Kagome funny.  
  
Kouga laughed slightly and went on, "No points for InuYasha and Kagome. Shippou, what is your final answer?"  
  
Shippou stuttered, knowing if he got it wrong Kikyou would hurt him, "Uh, um, er, a rubber ducky?"  
  
"What?! You're so stupid!" Kikyou proceeded in a relentless beating of the young kitsune, tossing her card on the ground that was written on with the words "ToYz SuCK".  
  
"No points for Shippou and Kikyou," Kouga announced, only to get a death glare from Kikyou. "Uh, anyway... Naraku, what's your answer?"  
  
Naraku sat for a moment, obviously considering his answer, and finally he simply said with a grin, "Curling iron."  
  
Sesshoumaru squealed happily and held up his card that said in fancy writing "My oh-so-wonderful and beautiful curling iron!!!"  
  
Kouga shuddered, "5 points for the quee-" Big Hoo growled, indicating the host better remain host-like or suffer the brutal consequences. Kouga laughed nervously and restated his previous sentence, "5 points for Naraku and Sesshoumaru. And this round's points end at:  
  
Miroku and Sango--5 InuYasha and Kagome--0 Shippou and Kikyou--0 Naraku and Sesshoumaru--5."  
  
2:00 PM  
  
"Next question," Kouga began, ready for another round of flustered contestants and beatings of the fox demon, "Miroku, who is Sango's least favorite person?"  
  
Miroku's face went blank, scared his own name could be on the other side of that card Sango held. He took his time in answering, "Naraku."  
  
Sango grinned, happy they were winning, and held up her card with the word "Naraku" written in simple letters. Naraku sniffled and Sesshoumaru held the whimpering baboon to his boa for comfort.  
  
"Miroku and Sango are rewarded 5 points," Kouga said and Jaken scribbled down points.  
  
"Now," Kouga took a deep breath, indicating his mild boredom, "InuYasha, who is Kagome's least favorite person?"  
  
InuYasha sat up from his lazily pre-sleeping state and triumphantly yelled, "YOU!" and pointed an angry finger at the wolf demon host.  
  
Kouga lifted an eyebrow and looked to Kagome, "Well?"  
  
Kagome held up her card, "Kikyou".  
  
"WHAT!" cried the PO'd hanyou, "How can you hate her?!"  
  
Kagome shrugged, "Jealousy."  
  
There were a few snickers from the other contestants and InuYasha grumbled and sat back down.  
  
Kouga looked to Shippou, "Who does Kikyou hate... most?"  
  
Shippou grinned childishly, "Kagome, of course!"  
  
Kikyou chuckled that ghastly chuckle of hers, revealing her card to say... well, it's edited: "that f---ing bi--- Kagome".  
  
InuYasha drooped his head and ears, upset now that his lovers hated each other. Kouga scoffed at the pathetic dog demon and continued the game, "5 points for Shippou and Kikyou." And the toad marked their points on his paper.  
  
"Naraku? Who does Sesshoumaru hate?" Kouga laughed at his own joke to himself that Sesshoumaru wasn't capable of expressing anger due to the fact that cement-related makeup restricted any facial movements... though Kouga's words were elementary school level vocabulary.  
  
Naraku chewed on his tongue as he thought, "Britney Spears?"  
  
Sesshoumaru bounced in his chair, "Eeee!" He held up his card that said "Madonna" in fancy script. "WHAT?" screeched the now distressed drama queen, "I thought I wrote Britney Spears..." he pouted, "I could have sworn I wrote it..."  
  
Kouga clasped his hands together, "The round totals stand as:  
  
Miroku and Sango--10 InuYasha and Kagome--0 Shippou and Kikyou--5 Naraku and Sesshoumaru--5."  
  
2:15 PM  
  
"Next question," Kouga began, "who is your partner's best friend?"  
  
Miroku gnawed absentmindedly on his lower lip, considering two possibilities; he decided his final decidion and stated simply, "Kilala."  
  
"Yay!" Sango lifted her card up which read "Kilala".  
  
Miroku grinned proudly at how well he knew Sango. Kouga waved at Jaken, and the green toad marked points.  
  
"InuYasha...?" Kouga awaited InuYasha's answer.  
  
"ME!" InuYasha, again blurted out his answer without an ounce of thought.  
  
"Uh..." Kagome showed her card that read the name of her classmate "Hojo".  
  
InuYasha's eyes twitched, he didn't know what to say he was so mad.  
  
"He's been my friend since kindergarten!" Kagome stated defensively. InuYasha crossed his arms and pouted angrily in his seat without saying a word.  
  
"Heh heh heh," Kouga chuckled, "anyways, Shippou, who's the dead one's best friend?"  
  
Shippou gulped, knowing he was going to screw this up, "Ummmmm ... best friend's suck?"  
  
Kikyou, "Damn you rat." Her card read "Kaede". And Shippou was smacked with the card.  
  
Kouga laughed and decided to move the game along, "Naraku, who is-"  
  
Naraku cut him off as he gleefully squealed like a school girl on crack, "MEEEE! Oh, Meeeeeeeeee! Tehehehehehe!"  
  
Sesshoumaru's card earned the pair 5 more points, "Naraku" in elegant writing once again.  
  
Kouga drummed his fingers on his podium, having to take a few minutes to add the points, "This round ends with the points as such:  
  
Miroku and Sango--15 InuYasha and Kagome--0 Shippou and Kikyou--5 Naraku and Sesshoumaru--10."  
  
2:30 PM  
  
"Last 5-point question," Kouga leaned on his elbows toward Miroku and Sango, "what is her most embarrassing moment?" Kouga grinned, he couldn't wait for the answers to this.  
  
"The time she..." he knew the answer, but bringing it up would only be just as embarrassing. But they had to win, "When she was in a Demon Hunting Tournament and she was on the final round; she threw the Hiraikotsu and she misjudged her angle and..." he paused, preparing to run if Sango was mad at him. He finished quickly, "...The boomerang hit her in the back of the head at ninety miles an hour, knocking her out in front of her whole village."  
  
Sango blushed, gulped, and revealed her card to say "Demon Hunting Tournament, I made a fool of myself". Miroku, in a friendly way, patted her back.  
  
Kouga snorted a laugh, "5 points for you guys. Now, InuYasha?" Kouga couldn't wait to hear this.  
  
InuYasha smiled for the first time during the game, knowing the answer. He blurted out excitedly, "I hopped in her window once and she was in her under garments and she was kissing her Mr. T poster and saying things like," InuYasha made his voice high and obnoxiously squeaky when immitating Kagome, "'I love you Mr. T' or 'you're such a big tough guy' or 'you make me so-'" InuYasha was smacked by Kagome, quite viciously smacked by the way.  
  
"HOW DARE YOU!" Kagome hissed, beating InuYasha with her card that read "The time I fell on my rollerblades in front of cute guys".  
  
Kouga was laughing so hard he had to hold his sides; he wiped away tears of mirth, and between laughs managed to point to Shippou, "Go, kid."  
  
Shippou was giggling, though he hardly understood the joke to begin with, "Can I pass?" He frowned.  
  
"No," Kouga wanted to see the kitsune get hurt again.  
  
"When she fell in mud," Shippou shrugged and ducked, preparing for a beating again.  
  
Kikyou smirked and flipped up her card with teeny tiny writing that said "The time I fell in the mud. Though allow me to elaborate, because I'm not that clumsy. I always pretend to trip and fall on an attractive man, so he will catch me and we can share a lovey-dovey moment (mind you, I don't do that anymore... Mainly because I'm DEAD!). But this one guy I met, however cute he was, wasn't all that smart or strong or attentive or rich or affectionate or brave or--Jesus, what the Hell did I see in this guy anyway?! So, anyway, I went to do my "Fake Trip and Receive A Passionate Lovey-Dovey Moment" trick (and shut up, so what if I was a hopeless romantic who named every flirtatious move I had?! I'll kill you if you say a word. Go ahead, tempt me!!) and he was watching God-only-knows-what (probably a butterfly... Did I mention he lacked masculine? No, I don't think I did, so yeah... He lacked masculine along with many other things. Holy shit, I dated a pansy...) and he let me fall. Into a big puddle of mud. And after that I dumped his sorry ass, though of course--the '"big man" that he was--cried... So there. Your novel."  
  
The contestants along with the host--and somehow she attracted the attention of Jaken--read the card, giggling heard as they read certain parts and Shippou would mumble "huh?" every so often. Kouga raised an eyebrow, "When did you have time to write that?"  
  
Kikyou smirked, "None of your business."  
  
InuYasha blinked, "You used that move on me!"  
  
InuYasha grinned, Kagome glared, and Kikyou scoffed. Kouga decided to allow Shippou's answer to be sufficient, so their team was awarded the points.  
  
Naraku and Sesshoumaru had a pen thrown at them because Kouga needed their attention and they were too busy discussing how to improve Kikyou's move to make it more effective.  
  
"Naraku, what's Sesshoumaru's most embarrassing moment?"  
  
Naraku frowned for Sesshoumaru, "The day he ran out of most of his makeup and he had to go to the store without it. However much he attempted to cover his horribly disgusting face-"  
  
"Hey," whined Sesshoumaru.  
  
"Sorry Snuffly-Wuffly," Naraku blew Sesshoumaru a kiss. "Anyway, no matter how much he tried to hide his face, a group of kids saw him and screamed... It only attracted the other curious by standers. So, my poor Sesshly- Wesshly-Poo was standing in a crowd of meanie-heads that laughed and pointed at his face." Naraku wiped away a tear for his poor Sesshoumaru..  
  
Sesshoumaru, ashamed, held up the card that said "No makeup, people laughed at me".  
  
Kouga snickered, "5 points for you. The total point's stand as:  
  
Miroku and Sango--20 InuYasha and Kagome--0 Shippou and Kikyou--10 Naraku and Sesshoumaru--15."  
  
2:55 PM  
  
Kouga tapped his pile of cards on his podium to straighten them out, but it seemed futile, "Okay, here's the big 10-pointer. What is the most erotic place you've made-out, or wanted to make-out?"  
  
Miroku had to remind himself to breathe. He didn't care what he answered, he just wanted to know Sango's answer. He asnwered but it came out a bunch of incoherent mumbles.  
  
"Speak up," Kouga clapped his hands at the monk to get his attention.  
  
"Uhm," Miroku blinked, "On a beach, late at night, with a full moon casting an intimate glow across us-ERR her and whomever... A cool, refreshing breeze swirling around and making the beautiful shore flowers dance and twirl. With the waves splashing at their bare feet and uh-... Yeah, that's my answer."  
  
Sango blushed, staring at Miroku as she held her card for everyone else to see "Against a wall".  
  
There was a snicker, and Kouga had to throw a pencil to get their attention.  
  
"Hey," Kouga yelled, "we got a game to play here, love birds! InuYasha, what's your answer?"  
  
"She made out with me on a bed!" InuYasha knew for sure he'd get this right, because--for all he knew--that was the only place she's ever made out.  
  
"Uhhh... InuYasha, I think we need to talk after this." Kagome sighed and showed her card that said "In a classroom".  
  
InuYasha, as well as everyone else, stared wide-eyed at her.  
  
Kouga blinked, "Ummm, anyway. Shippou?"  
  
The young fox sighed, "In a cave."  
  
Kikyou glared at Shippou, hoping they would've been the only one's to win any points. She revealed her answer "In a pool--Purr, call me 555-SOUL".  
  
Kouga secretly scribbled the number down for future reference, "Naraku, answer."  
  
Naraku became giddy, "In the kitchen!"  
  
A few of the contestants turned green and gagged, someone made a puking noise and said "I'm never eating again!"  
  
Sesshoumaru frowned, "Swee' Pea, you're not the only lover I've had." He held up his card that said "In an elevator".  
  
The contestants were all either blushing, angry, sore, or sad. Big Hoo laughed happily.  
  
Kouga finished up this round, "No one won points in that round... So, the end of this round leaves the points standing at:  
  
Miroku and Sango--20 InuYasha and Kagome--0 Shippou and Kikyou--10 Naraku and Sesshoumaru--15."  
  
3:10 PM  
  
The women--and Sesshoumaru--were sent to the backroom, which was Shippou and Miroku's room. They were, to say the least, shocked at what they found. Miroku's wall was covered, top to bottom, with scraps of magazine cut-outs. Not just any cut-outs, however. They were revealing, some nude, photos of several attactive women, but something was different... all their faces had been replaced with pictures of Sango's face.  
  
Sango, beyond pissed, started ripping and shredding the pictures off of the wall, growling curses to the monk. The three other people stared at her, worried she had lost it.  
  
Having finished tearing the pictures off of the walls, Sango whipped out a lighter and burned them. She then looked through a few of the dresser drawers and found a thick red Sharpie. She wrote in large, harsh letters: "PERVERT!!". And when she was done, she brushed herself off, took a deep breath and smiled sweetly at the others.  
  
Back out in the living room, Kouga was starting his questioning, "First one: What's your favorite food?"  
  
The men wrote their answers and placed their cards face-down at the bottom of their piles of cards.  
  
"Next," Kouga hurriedly continued, "What is the weirdest, most awkward, moment you and your partner have shared?"  
  
Naraku had to stop and consider this one, for who-knows what reason.  
  
When Naraku had finally written down his answer, Kouga proceeded promptly, "Where would you go on your honeymoon?"  
  
Kouga snapped at Miroku, who had drifted off into one of his perverted daydreams. "Fourth question: What is your favorite thing to see your partner wearing, or would like to see them wear?"  
  
Kouga, again, had to snap Miroku out of his daydream--as well as Naraku. "Let's hurry this up. Last, but not least, what was your childhood nickname?"  
  
InuYasha paused, then quickly scribbled down his answer.  
  
3:20 PM  
  
The girls were back out and seated. Miroku commented that somebody smelled like smoke, but everyone assumed it was Jaken...  
  
"Let's get this game finished," Kouga was certain this round would be very interesting. "Sango, what is your man-" he received a threatening glare and cleared his throat, "I mean, what is Miroku's favorite food?"  
  
She answered immidiately, "Chili dogs."  
  
Miroku's card read "chili dogs!" and Jaken marked points down.  
  
"Kagome," Kouga lifted an eyebrow, "what does InuYasha love to eat?"  
  
"Ramen," she stated simply.  
  
Kouga laughed, "Finally, you guys got some points." Kagome glared at the host. "Uhhh... Anyway. Kikyou, what is Shippou's favorite food?"  
  
"Candy," she hissed.  
  
Shippou squeaked and lifted the card--which was as big as him--above his head to show "candy" written sloppily across it.  
  
"Okay," Kouga reached over and smacked Jaken, "hey, pay attention, they've all won points!"  
  
Jaken narrowed his eyes and scribbled some stuff on his paper.  
  
"Now," Kouga sighed, wondering when this game was going to end, "Sesshoumaru, answer away."  
  
"My Snuggly-Poofy-Dumpling just loves his banana cream pie!" Sesshoumaru gushed happily.  
  
"You know me too well," Naraku trilled, holding his card up that read "Banana cream pies".  
  
Kouga rolled his eyes, "This round's totals are:  
  
Miroku and Sango--25 InuYasha and Kagome--5 Shippou and Kikyou--15 Naraku and Sesshoumaru--20."  
  
3:30 PM  
  
"Okay," Kouga cleared his throat, "Sango, what is the most embarrassing, or awkward, moment you and your partner have shared?"  
  
She hesitated, apparently trying to choose which of the many moments were most embarrassing. "I'd have to say...when we were caught under the mistletoe." Sango blushed at the memories.  
  
Miroku smiled, holding up a card that said "MISTLETOE!".  
  
Kouga kicked the toad to make him write down points, "Kagome, answer."  
  
"The time when I told him that I had feelings for him," Kagome glanced at the floor.  
  
InuYasha held up his card, which said "The Mr. T thing... when she caught me staring at her... boy, was that awkward".  
  
Kagome's eye twitched, but she said nothing.  
  
"Alright," Kouga yawned, "Kikyou?"  
  
"We never had an embarrassing moment," Kikyou growled.  
  
Shippou held up his card, "No awkward moment".  
  
"Sesshoumaru," Kouga snapped his fingers, indicating he answer.  
  
"I'll have to say," Sesshoumaru tapped his finger on his leg in thought, "when we met. We both wanted to ask for makeup tips, but we were too embarrassed to even ask names."  
  
Sesshoumaru held up his card to show his fancy writing again with the words "When we met, we wanted makeup tips but we has trouble breaking the ice" written on it.  
  
Kouga blinked, "Okay, point total is:  
  
Miroku and Sango--30 InuYasha and Kagome--5 Shippou and Kikyou--20 Naraku and Sesshoumaru--25."  
  
3:40 PM  
  
Kouga started the next round promptly, "Sango, where would Miroku go for a honeymoon?"  
  
Sango mumbled to herself, "Anywhere with a room." But answered, "Uh... Hawaii."  
  
Miroku held up a card that said, "Hawaii".  
  
Kouga threw a paperclip at Kagome, since she was off in her own little world.  
  
"Huh?" Kagome looked around, "Oh, um, Jamaica?"  
  
InuYasha lifted his card to say "Jamaica". Kagome stopped pouting.  
  
"Kikyou, come on, I shouldn't have to tell you to answer," Kouga complained.  
  
"I'll have to say... Hell," Kikyou smirked.  
  
Shippou revealed his card to say "Japan". He ducked as Kikyou smacked him.  
  
Kouga threw a stapler at Sesshoumaru, but missed, "Answer."  
  
Sesshoumaru stopped to think, "Hm... I'm going to have to say Alaska."  
  
Naraku squealed and showed his card with the word "Alaska" written across it.  
  
Kouga sighed, becoming extremely bored, "Total points are:  
  
Miroku and Sango--35 InuYasha and Kagome--10 Shippou and Kikyou--20 Naraku and Sesshoumaru--30."  
  
3:50 PM  
  
Kouga was becoming irritated with this game as it neared its end, "Fourth question: What is your favorite thing to see your partner wearing, or would like to see them wear?"  
  
Sango knew what Miroku's answer would be, "Nothing."  
  
Miroku laughed and grinned, showing his card with the words "Not a thing" and a small winking face drawn on it.  
  
Kouga tossed a ball of paper at Kagome, apologizing when it hit her in the face.  
  
"I'll have to say... My school uniform," Kagome decided.  
  
"School clothes" was written on InuYasha's card. Kagome jumped with joy.  
  
"Kikyou, answer," Kouga instructed.  
  
Kikyou glared at the demanding wolf demon. "It better only be my normal clothes," she hissed.  
  
"Whatever she wears everyday" was written on the kitsune's card.  
  
Sesshoumaru had caught on to Kouga's "Answer Fast or Have a Random Object Thrown at You" thing, and answered immediately. "I'll say... his baboon suit. I just love how well it looks on him," Sesshoumaru grinned.  
  
Naraku frowned, holding his card that said "My bikini".  
  
Kouga threw a marker at Shippou for no apparent reason, "This round's points are:  
  
Miroku and Sango--40 InuYasha and Kagome--15 Shippou and Kikyou--25 Naraku and Sesshoumaru--30."  
  
4:00 PM  
  
Big Hoo came on suddenly, "Hurry this game up, guys. It's almost dinner time."  
  
Kouga waved him off, "Yeah, yeah. Okay, last question. Ten pointer. What was his childhood nickname?"  
  
Sango clapped, "Sausage Man!"  
  
Miroku laughed nervously, showing his answer on his card that said "Sausage man".  
  
A few of the contestants lifted eyebrows, wanting an explanation, but Kouga quickly continued.  
  
"Kagome... don't make me throw more paper," Kouga theatened.  
  
"Uh... the River Dancing Chicken." Kagome shrugged, knowing they were going to lose anyway.  
  
"WHAT!" InuYasha jumped out of his chair, knocking it over. He lifted his card so everyone could read "Spunky".  
  
A snicker was heard and InuYasha picked up his chair and sat back down.  
  
Kikyou took a long time on purpose, knowing it wouldn't hurt her... she WAS dead.  
  
Kouga threw a lamp, remembering that Kikyou was dead as it bounced off of her.  
  
She snickered and answered, "Nutter Butter." She shrugged.  
  
Shippou's card read "Spazzoid". And he was smacked by Kikyou, despite the fact that it was Kikyou's fault.  
  
Kouga threw Fred at Sesshoumaru and Fred bounced off of the demon's pretty hair. Sesshoumaru screeched and waved his arms around, only to have some pens thrown at him, "Answer, dammit!" Kouga complained.  
  
Sesshoumaru calmed down somewhat, "Um, he didn't have one."  
  
Naraku's card read "No nickname" and had a crying face drawn on it.  
  
Kouga clasped his hands together, "OKAY! We're done! Oh... No, wait."  
  
A few contestants murmured their confusion.  
  
"The death question?" Kouga tilted his head and read the instructions. "The women must answer a question... worth 30 points. Ladies, leave for a moment while I ask the men to write down their answers."  
  
The women went in the backyard, wondering why this question was called the Death Question.  
  
"The question is.... If there was one thing you could change about her, what would it be?"  
  
The guys marked their answers with some hesitation.  
  
The girls were called back in.  
  
Kouga gave the points so far, "The previous points are:  
  
Miroku and Sango--45 InuYasha and Kagome--15 Shippou and Kikyou--25 Naraku and Sesshoumaru--35.  
  
Now, ladies, the last question, the 30-pointer, is this... If he could change one thing about you, what would it be?"  
  
Sango stopped to think, "Uhh... my masculine strength."  
  
Miroku grinned sweetly, showing his card that said "I wouldn't change a thing".  
  
Sango blushed bright red, and tried to get mad at him, "You made us lose!"  
  
Kouga rubbed his palms together, "Kagome, I wouldn't change anything about you. However, I'm not playing. So... What would InuYasha change?"  
  
Kagome bit her tongue and thought, "I'll go with my big butt."  
  
InuYasha glanced around nervously, thinking to himself 'No escape!' He held up his answer, which was "Her chunky legs".  
  
"MY CHUNKY LEGS!? HOW DARE YOU!" She smacked the cowering dog demon and stormed out of the room.  
  
Someone snickered, and Kouga slammed his palm down on the desk, "Kikyou."  
  
"That I'm dead," she said it like it made no difference.  
  
Shippou held up his card and it read "She's too mean". He ducked from the expected blow, but Kikyou floated away.  
  
"The last one," Kouga sighed with relief, "get it right or Miroku and Sango win. Naraku..."  
  
"I'll say," Naraku smiled, "my gender."  
  
Sesshoumaru giggled, and showed that his card said "His gender".  
  
Kouga, disgusted like everyone else, shook his head and threw a bag at them. "For the winners. Candy."  
  
4:30 PM  
  
InuYasha went outside to get some fresh air and think about how to apologize to Kagome.  
  
Kagome was pouting in her room.  
  
Sango, still blushing, went to her room to comfort Kagome and think about what happened.  
  
Kouga, by instruction of Big Hoo, cleaned up all the objects he threw.  
  
Miroku helped Kouga clean up the game stuff.  
  
Kikyou was outside, talking with InuYasha.  
  
Sesshoumaru and Naraku put their prize in a small glass bowl to share with everyone.  
  
Shippou was busy spoiling his supper as he ate the majority of the candy from the glass bowl.  
  
Jaken was outside in the garden, having some kind of AA Meeting with the lawn gnomes.  
  
5:00 PM  
  
"DINNER TIIIIIME!" called the joyous Sesshoumaru, who had cooked a large dinner in just half an hour. The cast filed into the dining room, each taking their seats.  
  
Kagome sat across from InuYasha.  
  
Sango sat next to Miroku.  
  
Shippou sat on Kagome's lap.  
  
Kouga somehow ended up beside InuYasha instead of Kagome.  
  
Sesshoumaru and Naraku, who hadn't stopped bragging and gloating since they won the game, were seated beside each other, grinning happily.  
  
And, naturally, Kikyou and Jaken did not show up.  
  
Sesshoumaru hopped to his feet, pulling covers off the trays of food to reveal fried fish, steak, lambchops, salad of varying flavors, raw and cooked vegetables, steamed rice and warm, fluffy rolls with margarin. The entire cast stared hungrily at the array, quickly piling food on their plates.  
  
5:12 PM  
  
Sango glanced at Kagome, who was poking a carrot with her fork. "Kagome, why aren't you eating? You haven't touch any of your food."  
  
"Because, if I eat, my chunky legs will only get chunkier!" Kagome glared menacingly at InuYasha.  
  
Kouga, trying to be of some help, laughed, "You're legs aren't chunky, Kagome."  
  
Kagome, with stars in her eyes, looked at Kouga, "Really?"  
  
The wolf demon nodded, "Yea, they're the perfect width for bearing many wolf youkai pups."  
  
Kagome stood suddenly, knocking her chair backwards and dumping Shippou to the floor as she stormed out of the room.  
  
InuYasha snickered, "Thanks, Kouga. Now she's pissed at you and not me."  
  
Miroku and Sango chuckled while Sesshoumaru and Naraku shook their heads in sadness. Kouga blinked, completely lost as to why Kagome was mad, it had been a compliment after all. Fred, sitting at Kouga's feet, gurgled his comfort.  
  
5:15 PM  
  
After hearing the disturbing sounds of Fred, most of the cast had lost their appetite. Each left the dining room to find some mode of entertainment.  
  
Sango is in the living room, trying to play twister with Shippou, who was the size of a single dot on the plastic mat.  
  
Miroku has retreated to his room, whereupon he discovered Sango's little "note".  
  
Kagome is in her room, cutting up pictures of InuYasha and any that showed her legs.  
  
Sesshoumaru and Naraku are in the kitchen washing the dinner dishes and chatting animatedly about possible new hair colors for the cast.  
  
Kouga is watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch with Fred.  
  
InuYasha is in his room, looking at pictures of him and Kagome.  
  
Kikyou is watching Jaken as he continues his peculiar meeting with the lawn ornaments.  
  
5:32 PM  
  
The cast, one by one, has ended up back in the living room. Big Hoo suddenly speaks in a cheerful tone, "Wonderful timing everyone. Now that you are all gathering here, I shall announce who is to be evicted." He paused dramatically, causing the cast to shift uncomfortably in anticipation.  
  
After a moment of extended, over-dramatic silence, Big Hoo cleared his throat, "The evictee is... Jaken!"  
  
Jaken cheered happily, "I'm free! I'm free from this tobacco-less Hell Hole! Yes! I can buy my cigarettes again!" He raced out of the house as swiftly as his stubby little feet could carry him.  
  
Kikyou crossed her arms, eyes narrowed, "Hell Hole? He makes that sound like an insult."  
  
Kouga shrugged, "It is an insult."  
  
Big Hoo, sounding fairly surprised, spoke up, "That's the most I've ever heard Jaken say since he arrived here. Why did he sound so happy? Is this place really that bad?"  
  
With hesitation, the entire cast chorused, "YES!"  
  
Big Hoo chuckled, "Good. Its supposed to be. Big Hoo signing off!"  
  
InuYasha blinked, "That guy is one sadistic bastard." Most of the group nodded in agreement.  
  
5:49 PM  
  
Kouga, still glued in front of the TV, has now been joined by half the cast- -InuYasha, Sango, Miroku, and Sesshoumaru. the wolf demon points at the TV gleefully, "Jurassic Park is on!"  
  
Sango, wanting peace and quiet, called to the remainder of the cast, "Hey! A movie is starting! Let's have a family movie thing!"  
  
Kagome grinned, "I'll get the butter-free and salt-free and calorie-free and saturated fat-free popcorn." She hurried into the kitchen, Naraku hot on her heels to make sure she did not ruin his 'beloved Sesshoumaru's kitchen of absolute perfection and beauty'.  
  
Miroku volunteered to get the REAL popcorn and followed the chunky legged girl and the pansy baboon.  
  
Kikyou, taking advantage of Kagome's absence, sat beside InuYasha, who didn't seem to mind so much.  
  
Shippou bounced into the room with a cardboard box overflowing with bags of candy, bite size cotton candy, six packs of varying flavors of soda, and other movie treats. A few of the other cast members stared at the box of sugar packed foods, finally learning the source of Shippou's hyperactivity.  
  
Kagome and Miroku, escorted by Naraku, returned, each with a large bowl of popcorn. Everyone made themselves comfortable as the movie started.  
  
6:07 PM  
  
A commercial came on during the intermission of the movie. The entire cast stared wide-eyed at the ad for 'Enzyte: the male enhancement drug' featuring a happy-go-lucky man by the name of "Smilin' Bob" enjoying time in a hardware store. A few snickers and giggles could be heard from various cast members.  
  
InuYasha suddenly had a coughing fit that oddly resembled words referring to Kouga.  
  
Kouga had a similiar fit with coughs sounding like 'InuYasha'.  
  
Shippou looked up at Kagome curiously, "Kagome, what's that commercial mean?"  
  
Kagome blinked a few times, blushing furiously. Kikyou tried to "help" Kagome hide her blush by placing a pillow over her face. After a moment, InuYasha yanked the pillow out of Kikyou's grasp, freeing Kagome.  
  
Shippou was not in the mood to be ignored and began tugging Kagome's sleeve, "Tell me, Kagome. I wanna know."  
  
Miroku grinned wickedly, "Yes, Kagome, do tell us about Enzyte."  
  
Kagome remained silent for a moment, trying to think up an appropriate but truthful answer, "Well, uhh, Enzyte enhances, uhm, the male part."  
  
Shippou blinked in confusion, "What male part?"  
  
"The, err, private part." Kagome answered, her face now completely red.  
  
The kitsune frowned, "Why would anyone want to enhance that?"  
  
Kagome glanced helplessly at the other cast members, all doubled over with laughter. Kagome blurted out the first thing that came to her head, "For her pleasure!!"  
  
The male members of the cast fell silent. Sesshoumaru frowned, "What about for HIS pleasure?"  
  
Absolute silence, excluding Naraku's fit of giggles.  
  
Gagging noises are heard from most of the cast, except the utterly confused Shippou.  
  
Miroku clapped a hand over his mouth as he stood up, "I think I'm gonna be sick." He raced to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.  
  
Shippou, choosing to continue being the pest he is, stared up at Kagome, "But why?"  
  
"Because, well, " Kagome searched for an answer, pointing at the TV, "Hey, the movie's back on!" She glued her eyes to the TV, stuffing popcorn into her mouth.  
  
Shippou gave up his quest for useless knowledge and resume watching the movie of dinosaurs run amuck.  
  
6:34 PM  
  
Another commercial break. Miroku has returned. Kagome thanked everything sacred and holy that there weren't anymore Enzyte commercials. But Shippou wasn't done asking questions.  
  
Asking no one in particular, Shippou voiced the first question that came to him, "Why are dinosaurs extinct?"  
  
InuYasha, fed up with Shippou's meddling, shouted at the top of his lungs, "Because you touch yourself at night!!"  
  
Shippou, taking InuYasha's outburst to heart, placed his hands firmly on the couch as far from himself as his short arms could stretch.  
  
InuYasha, pleased with his success at silencing the kitsune, sat smugly on the back of the couch.  
  
Sango and Miroku were stuffing food into their mouths to muffle their laughter. Kouga chose to use his tail, Sesshoumaru was covering Naraku's mouth and vice versa. Kagome was staring into space, completely stunned.  
  
The return of the movie was a welcome relief for all of them.  
  
7:56 PM  
  
With the movie credits rolling, most of the cast began to move and stretch.  
  
Kagome carried a soundly sleeping Shippou into his room, placing him gently on his bed before returning to the living room to witness the first round of a DDR tournament.  
  
Sesshoumaru was dancing magnificantly to the song Butterfly on an expert level, InuYasha struggling to keep up on Beginner level.  
  
With InuYasha's defeat, Sango took over, choosing Freckles as her song. Both she and Sesshoumaru were on expert level, neither backing down in the slightest until Sesshoumaru tripped over his boa and fell off the mat, naming Sango victor by default.  
  
Kagome hopped onto the mat beside Sango, smiling encouragement. Sango returned the smile, but her grin was more malicious and competitive. As the song Captain Jack started up, the two girls matched step for step. As the song drew near to its close, Kagome hadn't slipped up at all, until Sango decided to start singing out her favorite foods, including Coffee, which sent Kagome squealing to her room and to her defeat.  
  
Kikyou was next in line to face off with the determined exterminator. The song Witch Doctor started on expert level, forcing both girls to move as fast as their feet were capable. Sango, not wanting to lose to an undead priestess, whispered quietly to Kikyou, "Is it my imagination, or is InuYasha flirting with Kagome?" Kikyou whirled around to face her beloved hanyou and thus lost the game.  
  
Next up was Naraku, who couldn't even stand up straight, let alone hit the arrows correctly. He lost before the song even began.  
  
Miroku hopped on the mat, waving to Sango, who was panting with the effort of dancing so many rounds in a row. "You've got a lot of endurance, Sango." Miroku remarked, winking mischievously. Sango studiously ignored the monk as the song Cowgirl started playing. Miroku was skilled, but he purposely let Sango win.  
  
Last up was the far too energetic--and don't forget fleet footed--Kouga.  
  
Song after song the two struggled to beat one another, though each was as skilled as the opposition. They both were far too stubborn to give up the winner's title, so the match ended when both of them passed out after playing one the most challenging songs, Sakura.  
  
8:45 PM  
  
The cast members were exhausted after the grueling DDR tournament, so they complied willingly when Big Hoo ordered them to an early bed. Kikyou stayed up later, placing some practical jokes for Naraku to find tomorrow morning in his kitchen.  
  
10:00 PM  
  
Shippou was sleeping with his hands as far from him as possible.  
  
Kagome was curled up under her blankets, muttering curses about evil, heartless coffee in her sleep.  
  
InuYasha was snoring like a walrus, sprawled out on his bed.  
  
Kouga was curled up in a little ball on his pile of blankets and pillows.  
  
Sango is sound asleep, hugging her picture of Miroku.  
  
Sesshoumaru was wrapped in a cocoon of boas, mumbling something about awakening in the morning as an even more beautiful butterfly.  
  
Naraku slept peacefully curled up in his baboon suit, mumbling about DDR not suited for monkeys.  
  
Miroku, after writing "Miroku isn't a" above Sango's earlier message, has fallen asleep clinging to his pile of backup Sango's pictures.  
  
12:03 AM  
  
Kikyou is the only one awake, feeling lonely without the tobacco addicted toad to talk to, has resorted to practicing DDR nonstop. She has already entertained herself for an hour when she found a picture of Kagome and stabbed it repeatedly with knives, pens, pencils, scissors, chopsticks and other stab-worthy objects.  
  
Shippou is muttering apologies to the dinosaurs in his sleep.  
  
===========================  
  
Whoa! We actually finished this chapter! It took of about seven months(give or take some months) of putting it off and completely ignoring it, but we got it done! Saturday is "Interview the Crew" day. Please review. If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions, feel free to contact one of us at:  
  
Sango- AIM: I Love Handcuffz  
  
Tsuki- AIM: DetectiveTsuki 


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